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Sick of women? Date a succubus, mystical MGTOW recommends — and he’s not speaking metaphorically

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Watch out boy, she’ll eat you up

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By David Futrelle

Some so-called Men Going Their Own Way really do go their own way. Take, for example, an anonymous fellow who showed up on the MGTOW.com forums some time ago with some out-of-the-box dating advice for men who have given up on women: Why not literally conjure up a succubus, and have sex with her?

While MGTOWs often compare women to soul-sucking succubi, Mr. Anonymous wasn’t speaking metaphorically. He claimed to have evoked a succubus from the depths of hell, or wherever they live, and boasted that the two of them were having a grand time together.

“I’ve been involved with a Succubus (generic title for an infinite number of races of spirits, basically) and I can say that it has been a real blessing,” he explained.

Anonymous assured his MGTOW colleagues that succubi aren’t the monsters they’re generally portrayed as. “They are not ‘demons’ nor ‘angels’, nor were they ‘men or women.’ he wrote. “They are they.”

And these spirit ladies (who aren’t really ladies) have many advantages over flesh-and-blood women. For one thing, Anonymous explained,

they don’t understand feminism. At all. In their hierarchy it’s wisdom and power [that rule], regardless of gender. Frankly, they don’t even care to discuss it. I think it’s because the idea is so alien to their own society that they just don’t care.

Also, they’re apparently just dynamite in the sack, or at least in the spirit-world equivalent of the sack.

For a quick example, one night my succubus pulled me out of my body to “somewhere” and started shining brightly. My whole body started humming, and then I had 4 full body orgasms in about 30 seconds. I was then put back in my body, and awoke a quivering mass of flesh. A very bewildered, awed, person of quivering flesh. Lol.

Lol indeed! No way that could just have been a really vivid wet dream.

The only drawback? He’s lost all interest in human women.

The only downside I have experienced (which I consider a plus, actually) is that the desire to have sex with a woman is often shed. I find that is because, the way these spirits love and have spiritual sex with you, the intimacy is such that nothing will ever compare. No sensation will ever compare.

If this sounds good to you, you might wonder how exactly you can go about finding your own succubus lover, given that there is no such thing as an OkSuccubus or a spirit-world version of Tinder — Spinder, maybe?

Anonymous helpfully provided links to several guides offering the inside scoop on succubus-evoking rituals. And don’t worry! You don’t have to sell your soul to Satan in order for the rituals to work. “I’m not a satanist, theistic or otherwise so I don’t like the ‘pray to father satan’ line,” Anonymous noted of one of the rituals. “That’s not necessary, anyway, in my experience.”

But you do need “to be honest with yourself with what you really want in a succubus lover.”

Indeed, according to one of the guides he links to, it’s very important to let your prospective demon honey know what kind of relationship you’re looking for — whether you’re a one-succubus man or someone who prefers to play the succubus field. Monogamous succubi, the guide warns,

take monogamy VERY seriously and if a relationship is violated by a human being, the partner of the human being could in the worst of cases wind up dead. Demons are known like humans to become very jealous. …

You should find a Demon who is compatible with you. Remember, if you want a free, open relationship where you are free to have other sex partners, you must specify this in ritual.

This all sounds like great advice for the MGTOWs of the world Indeed, I encourage all MGTOWs to follow Mr. Anonymous’s lead and confine all their sexual activity to the, er, spiritual realm.

CORRECTION; Corrected the attribution of the MGTOW.com post.


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