Red Pill Redditor: Show your true alpha nature by totally dominating tiny dogs

By David Futrelle

Red Pill dudes agree that to be a true alpha male, you need to dominate the women in your life. Apparently the same rule applies to man’s best friend as well: Alpha males need to be the alpha dog to their own dogs — even if (especially if) these dogs are teenie-weenie cutie-wooties.

You sinply cannot allow your dog to walk all over you (perhaps literally), no matter if it’s a hulking rottweiler or an itsy-bitsty baby-wabie, the Red Pill Redditor calling himself Whisper warned his fellow would-be alphas in a classic post on the Red Pill subreddit.

“Just like any other canine,” he wrote,

small breed dogs need training, discipline and exercise. The dog must be taught to walk at a heel, sit, down and stay on command. Yet the major problem owners have is to recognize that all dogs need to work to earn food, praise and treats.

The trouble comes when owners break frame and give their tiny dogs unearned affection.

It has been my experience that small breed dogs are often lavished with affection, food and treats for no other reason except that they are small and cute.

Well, technically, dogs are “lavished” with food because they need it to live and starving your pets is animal abuse, but anyhoo, Whisper wants us to know that too much of this sort of coddling makes your tiny dog think you’re a big pussy.

Dogs do not understand this. In fact it makes them mentally ill. They interpret this cascade of affection without reason as submissive puppy-like behavior from their owners.

Uh oh.

In turn, they attempt to dominate and control their puppy/owners which can lead to aggression, separation anxiety and a host of neurotic behaviors.

Whisper then laid down the rules for TOTALLY DOMINATING your tiny dog.

1) If your dog sleeps in the bed with you, stop it. Now.
2) Teach your dog to walk at proper heel. Do not carry your dog. His paws are for walking.
3) Nothing in life is free. Have your dog work for food, rewards and especially affection.
4) Do not tolerate bad dog behavior because your dog is small. Consistently enforce all your commands.

Huh. What if you like having your dog sleep in bed with you?

I mean, yes, it’s good for dogs to have at least some rudimentary training and discipline and yes, this will make the dog feel more secure. But, damn, dude, spending your whole life worrying about breaking frame with your toy poodle? And being a jerk to a tiny creature who depends on you for everything? Just saying.

And now is the time in the post where I put up pictures of giant men with tiny dogs.