By David Futrelle
The Incels Without Hate subreddit is supposed to be the good one, free of festering resentment and calls for (or threats of) mass murder. The subreddit’s rules specifically ban expressions of hatred, as well as “blanket statements assigning blame to a particular group of people for your problems.”
So why are the denizens of the sub openly cheering on hatred?
In a post today with dozens of upvotes, an incel calling himself BeertjeBombazijn makes a case for hate:
“Why is ‘no hate’ stressed so much?” he asks.
Isn’t it a kind of ritual submission to the system which inflicted to so much pain and heaped so much aggression on us?
How is “the system” aggressing against incels? Perhaps some assholes bullied you in school; that sucks, but it’s happened to a lot of us — including me — and most of us make an effort to process it and move on. Any anger that the public feels towards incels today is the result of incels’ abhorrent and hateful beliefs — not to mention the actual massacres that have been carried out by incels and celebrated by their incel fans.
Resentment is just the appropriate emotional reaction to not getting your dues and if you let resentment simmer and stew it turns to hate and aggression. After all, they live while we rot and they are withholding what’s due to us.
Women aren’t “withholding what’s due” to you, dude. They just don’t want to have sex with you, and their right to basic bodily autonomy trumps your desire for sex.
The self-hate we feel is just an internalization of their hatred and aggression.
Dude, virtually no one knew that “incels” were a thing until Elliot Rodger launched his murder spree and you guys cheered him on. You brought whatever hatred the public feels for you on yourselves.
It’s like a garrison posted in our brain, to keep us down and depressed, so that they are relieved even of the task of bullying us. We bully ourselves for them.
Aside from a few obsessed individuals, no one is interested in bullying you or having you bully yourselves. We want you to step back from incel forums — virtually all of them cesspits of self-replicating hate and self-hatred — and try to get yourselves healthy. You’re the ones who react with bitter anger towards those who have tried to help you.
It’s about time we stopped letting our oppressors dictate what we should feel and how to express it and instead own our emotions.
Giving in to your worst impulses isn’t the same as owning your emotions. When you truly own your emotions you take responsibility for them and for whatever sorry consequences that follow from them. Trying to drum up even more hate within incel communities is a losing strategy, and will only serve to make incels feel more alienated from society than they already are.
We know you’re hurting. We don’t want you hurting. We want you to take steps to pull yourselves out of the incel morass — and are willing to help, if you only let us. So far very few of you have.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
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