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All gold everything
Woman-hating internet garbage fire Return of Kings is celebrating the start of the Olympics by lamenting the fact that most of the athletes the US is sending to the games are women.
As regular RoK contributor John Carver figures it, using his very own system of mathematics,
this is actually a sad state of affairs. It means that the U.S. Olympic team will have less than a 50% chance of seeing a real champion, rather than a 2nd rate gold medalist from the weaker sex … .
According to Carver, women just plain suck at sports compared to men, but as I didn’t bother to read that portion of his post I can’t tell you why. Possibly cooties.
In any case, Carver feels that since women athletes will never be as good as men, any gold medals they win don’t really count. And so they shouldn’t be made of real gold.
Whenever female athletes are awarded a “gold medal” at the Olympics, it should just be a giant knockoff of that cheap Hanukkah gelt (chocolate gold coins) that Jewish children get for the holiday season. After the brief surge of excitement that they have won “gold” (and attention whore themselves with it on Instagram), they can peel off the tin foil and feast on the chocolatey goodness inside until it’s all gone. “You go girl!” Image may be NSFW.
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You can tell it’s funny because of the smiley and the always-fresh use of the phrase “you go girl!”
After all, since women are ultimately just big children, they merely deserve to have big children’s candy. The REAL gold medals should be allocated to the real champions of a sporting discipline’s top tier, which will always be men.
Comedy GOLD!
