Careful with that ax, Eugene
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I‘m not sure who drew the cartoon above, depicting the travails of a long-suffering “nice guy” as he tries to break down the emotional wall put up by a woman he has a crush on an obsession with.
It’s been floating around the internet for a while; on Twitter it’s been accompanied with the mocking caption: “A rare picture depicting the day to day life of our brothers in the friend zone.”
I doubt the original artist had any idea just how unsettling this cartoon really is. The pastel colors and delicate lines don’t save it from its inherent creepiness; if anything, they make it worse. Why is this dude so determined to tear down the wall his unfortunate crush is working so hard to construct? What’s he going to do once he breaks through, murder her with his love ax?
That last question isn’t even a joke, really.
Earlier this month, the cartoon was posted on the awesome blog A Good Cartoon, an ongoing catalog of cartoons that are not actually good at all, where it got the epic takedown it deserved.
One commenter asked:
how you gonna draw some shit that makes you look like Jack Nicholson in The Shining and still feel like you’re the victim
Another added:
I DON’T *CHOP* UNDERSTAND *CHOP* WHY *CHOP* YOU CAN’T *CHOP* JUST *CHOP* LET ME *CHOP* BONE YOU *CHOP* ON AN INDEFINITE *CHOP* EXCLUSIVE *CHOP* BASIS *CHOP* WHEN *CHOP* I’M *CHOP* SO *CHOP* NIIIIIIIIIIIICE *CHOP*
But it was someone called Digital Discipline who offered the ultimate retort, in the form of a poem (“The Craven”) by Edgar Allan Bro:
Incessantly, I heard a smacking,
as of some entitled dipshit whacking,
whacking on my chamber door.Resignedly, I placed another layer,
voicing a quiet, repeated prayer,
“This dude thinks he’s a player,
but I am not a point to score,
he should f*ck off and bother me no more.”Quoth the friendzoned, “F*cking wh*re.”
THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE
H/T — @catmara73