Wait, incels want to do WHAT with our dead bodies?
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By David Futrelle
One brave “involuntarily celibate” Redditor has come up with what I think you’ll have to admit is an ingenious way to get around the fact that no living human woman wants to have sex with him: have sex with women who are “recently deceased!”
I mean, it’s not like they can say no after they’re dead! Heck, they won’t even notice that you’re having sex with them, being dead and all. No harm no foul!
Posting in the now-banned IncelHeaven subreddit last November, a fellow with the charming name SaintElliot — and yes, this is a reference to killer incel Elliot Rodger — put forth this delightful proposal:
What an amazing example of “thinking outside the box” if by “box” you mean “coffin.”
A glance through SaintElliot’s posting history on Reddit — even though he’s clearly deleted a lot of things — suggests that he’s at least semi-serious about this proposal.
I have so many questions. Would this sex take place in funeral homes or morgues? If the former, would funeral homes have to set up separate viewing and sex hours to accommodate both mourners and sex-hungry incel necrophiliacs? If the latter, would morgues be open 24/7 to serve incels’ sex-with-dead-women needs? Would there be beds provided or would the incels just have to bed their dead lovers on the cold slabs?
And then there is the most important question of all: How exactly does SaintElliot know that “[t]he pussy of females can be used even 2 days after their death?”
I shudder to think.
H/T — This one is going around on Twitter now, thanks to Lyzzy for pointing it out to me; it was also highlighted on FSDT.net back in November.