Trump trying to look up the eclipse’s skirt
By David Futrelle
Today The United States was plunged into darkness, literally, and it was a welcome relief from the more lasting metaphorical darkness that overcame the country early last November.
Oh, and our misbegotten president took off his special glasses and stared directly at the eclipse. Because of course he did. Also, he’s bankrupting the Secret Service. More on that in a second. Bur first:
In your FACE, science! pic.twitter.com/h4QUSVCGFu
— (((OhNoSheTwitnt))) (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 21, 2017
President Trump literally did the only thing you're not supposed to do during a solar eclipse. He's blind now. (@MattBinder for CAFE) pic.twitter.com/SDAhKx3s5b
— CAFE (@cafedotcom) August 21, 2017
Trump has now wandered into the White House kitchen and is touching all of the hot stoves.
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) August 21, 2017
Preview of tonight’s Tucker Carlson pic.twitter.com/DawbInUrWl
— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) August 21, 2017
The most pointed eclipse tweet came from none other than Madeleine Albright:
Enjoyed watching #Eclipse2017. A great reminder that all darkness is temporary. pic.twitter.com/NlK5wTaCtr
— Madeleine Albright (@madeleine) August 21, 2017
But this was my favorite:
For those not in North America, this is what the eclipse might look like pic.twitter.com/GwKldjK3MR
— andrew kaczynski 🤔 (@KFILE) August 21, 2017
In other news:
President Trump's constant vacations are bankrupting the Secret Service pic.twitter.com/GBOGT3mlPm
— NowThis (@nowthisnews) August 21, 2017
The Secret Service has spent $60k on golf cart rentals alone — which goes into Trump's pocket. https://t.co/HqXkLt9Arw
— shauna (@goldengateblond) August 21, 2017
Sorry, kids. We have to cut your food stamps because the president can't walk during his daily adventures chasing a little ball he hits. https://t.co/YVSlFx3BW9
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) August 21, 2017
Tonight's pool report: Trump responded to questions about today's collision of the USS John S. McCain: "'That's too bad,' he said."
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) August 21, 2017
"That's too bad" is something you say when you miss a putt, @POTUS. Not when you hear about missing sailors. https://t.co/MBQirXUMQy
— VoteVets (@votevets) August 21, 2017
other things Trump thinks are “too bad" pic.twitter.com/yWok7GDJzR
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) August 21, 2017
So this happened #Walkoffame #trump pic.twitter.com/IslLXVXIpO
— T.C (@TeeCee_85) August 20, 2017
The Pepes have a new plan. pic.twitter.com/0e9J3nOchC
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) August 21, 2017
Ian Miles Cheong: Women expert pic.twitter.com/hqm5l4Rloc
— Wild Geerters (@classiclib3ral) August 20, 2017
dude, that's 11 words pic.twitter.com/4lZOMkhatA
— maple cocaine (@historyinflicks) August 19, 2017
I tried making it more accurate for word count but my messaging's probably a little behind the times pic.twitter.com/WhI5YKcE40
— Dan Harmon (@danharmon) August 20, 2017
And now the cute animals:
#TrumpResign #KittenGifs pic.twitter.com/Oy9kRWWjmn
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) August 21, 2017
When you lie on your resume but still get the job. pic.twitter.com/1eX58I9eyN
— You Had One Job (@_youhadonejob1) August 20, 2017
If only we had a bigger bed pic.twitter.com/idhiHNGY5m
— Dog and Kitty (@dognkitty) August 21, 2017
How to correctly stack baby otters. pic.twitter.com/w2QVYDVEhA
— In Otter News (@Otter_News) August 20, 2017