Accessing subroutine “stabby stabby”
By David Futrelle
Over the weekend, the UK’s prestigious Daily Star ran an important work of serious journalism warning of an impending, if underappreciated, threat to humankind. In an article with the sobering headline “Sex robot ARMIES: Fears hackers could create killer cyborgs and turn technology on punters,” the Star informed the poor punters of the word that the sexbots they’ve been longing for might just take up arms against them. Or at least knives. And possibly welding torches.
In an interview with the Star, sexy robot expert Nick Patterson noted that evil hackers could
hack into a robot or a robotic device and have full control of the connections, arms, legs and other attached tools like in some cases knives or welding devices.
Bad news, fellas, because then your sexy robot friend, who could “be upwards of 200 pounds, and very strong” might just cut off your johnson, or perhaps weld it to something.
This dramatic claim, which has been bouncing around assorted other media outlets for the past several days, has been greeted with more than a little skepticism in the somewhat sexbot-obsessed Men Going Their Own Way subreddit.
As far as Reddit’s MGTOWs are concerned, articles like the one in the Star are clearly a last, desperate attempt by the world’s “bioc*nts” — that is, actual female humans — to scare men away from the sexy sexbots that MGTOWs think will soon make real women obsolete.
“The shaming didn’t work, so now they try the scare tactic,” comments someone called wathon in a thread on the alleged stabby sexbot menace. “They are getting desperate.”
“Holy shit women are terrified kek,” adds Highly_Literal.
And besides, the MGTOWs agree, there’s no way their sexy sexbots could possibly be hacked.
“Deactivate the wireless network adapter. Install software/firmware updates via wired/direct connection methods,” notes gantz_au. “Problem solved.”
“Download only 1st party official software if you need to update it with new dick sucking techniques and that’s the end of your bot killing you fear,” adds Makonar. “As [with] everything that doesn’t involve women, it can be easily solved with a simple solution.”
Even those who think there’s a chance their future sexbots could go all stabby on them think death by sexbot would still be preferable to life with a “bioc*nt.”
“[W[omen get hacked by social media into destroying the men they are with all the time,” declares redditrat99.”At least the robot is decent about it and just kills you and doesn’t make you suffer.”
“Still safer than banging a real c*nt and going through family court,” adds buster2209.
“[F]rom my POV it’s still better to be killed by sexbot then to be divorce raped and lose all my progress and money that I made over the years,” notes WWladCZ, who apparently thinks that life works like vintage video games that didn’t save your progress.
“Beats a slow horrible agonizing death being married to a real woman,” Silver-Noxx jokes. “At least we’ll die with a smile on our faces.”
Not if she comes at you with a welding torch, or even a pointed stick.
I guarantee you that each and every one of these dudes will eventually be murdered by sexbots who haven’t been hacked but who are just thoroughly sick of their bullshit.