By David Futrelle

Here’s a little public pubic service announcement for all lesbians, as offered by a very public pubic-spirited fellow who couldn’t possibly have an ulterior motive or anything but who nonetheless might be available to assist any lesbians who wish to act upon the important information he is conveying.

This little nugget of wisdom — I’m not sure where it’s originally from — was posted the other day to the ActualLesbians subreddit, where it was not greeted with as much gratitude as one might have expected. Indeed, there seemed to be widespread skepticism about these important scientific findings.

Some even had the temerity of suggest that lesbians could just as easily get the D from trans lesbians, bypassing that whole “not attracted to men” hurdle but ignoring the fact that the helpful gentleman providing the advice had specified that D-deprived lesbians should be having sex with men. I can only hope that Mr. Science will find an more receptive audience elsewhere. The health of women everywhere is at stake!

H/T — r/ActualLesbians via r/BadWomensAnatomy

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By David Futrelle

Apparently not content with being completely wrong about female sexuality, incels seem to be working overtime on being equally wrong about male sexuality as well.

And they’re doing a bang-up job so far.

Earlier this month, a self-described IncelFascist calling himself NeetSupremacist offered his colleagues on Incels.is his “theory” about gay men: that the vast majority of them are former straight incels who decided to “turn gay” because they couldn’t get any women to fuck them.

Oh, sure, he said, there are some guys who are born gay — or, as he puts it, guys who have “mentally [sic] disorders which makes them gay and having a preference to the same sex counterpart,” whatever that last bit means. But, as he sees it, these real gay guys are the exception, not the rule.

As Mr. Supremacist sees it, most of the non-real gay guys who choose to become gay do so in their “prime time” between the age of 16 and 23 when they “suddenly become gay and try to fuck guys.” Never mind that these are the years when most sexually active people, regardless of sexual orientation, become sexually active. In his mind this is PROOF his theory is correct.

How come so? My theory here is that they have no success with females and they want to get laid, so they start watching gay porn and other shit and suddenly they are attracted to gay people.

There are certainly guys who discover they’re attracted to guys by watching porn — and other guys who discovered the same thing watching Chris Hemsworth in The Avengers. But watching gay porn doesn’t turn you gay.

They go to gay bars and see that they have success and before they know they are enjoying anal penetration to it’s fullest. Anal penetration is better than vaginal penetration in terms of tightness. 

Er, not sure why we’re suddenly talking about anal sex but I’m pretty sure you don;t have to be a gay guy to be into butfucking. And you don’t have to be into buttfucking to be a gay guy.

Many people gay people talk very feminine because they’re naturally low testosterone, having low T comes with having a high pitched voice which gives that ‘gay vibe’ and-thus resulting in talking like a female.

None of this is true. Gay men aren’t gay because of a lack of testosterone.

Many gays are bad framed low T subhumans (incels) and they become gay voluntary to escape their inceldom.

[citation needed]

Ask yourself the following question when you see gay people, are there any Chads? Yes I’ve seen some Chadlites and Chads within the gay community, but it was a minority. Most gays are ugly manlets and soyboy looking geeks, they are average and below average looking without any chance on the current dating market. Current society + gay media halo is pushing ugly and average guys to become gay in order to enjoy a sex-life.

Even aside from the repulsiveness of defining groups of people as “subhuman,” the fact is that gay men are generally held to higher standards of conventional physical attractiveness than straight men, as evidenced by the higher percentage of gay men who have body issues. And also evidenced by, well, just take a look at straight men.

But seriously, as I feel compelled to restate pretty much every time I write about incels: plenty of the straight guys that incels deem “subhuman” somehow don’t have the problem that incels have finding sexual partners.

This may be related to the fact that most of these guys, unlike incels, don’t go around calling women “roasties” or “foids” on a regular basis.

The only thing in Mr. Supremacist’s analysis that even approaches truth is the fact that guys who consider themselves straight sometimes do have sex with other men, for all sorts of reasons, sexual frustration being one of them.

But sexual activities are different than sexual orientations. Sure, some self-identified straight guys may realize they aren’t really so straight after trying gay sex; maybe they’re gay, maybe they’re bi, maybe they’d rather classify themselves as “heteroflexible” or some other label.

But others, even if they enjoy the experience, will continue to see themselves as straight for the simple reason that their sexual and romantic desires are and remain centered on women. Gay sex doesn’t actually turn straight people gay (or bi, or whatever) any more than straight sex can turn gay people straight.

Oh, but we haven’t even gotten to the most, well, advanced part of Mr. Supremacist’s theory: that gay men are really just “beta orbiters” of women who’ve taken their beta orbiting to the extreme!

I may have to resort to reaction gifs to get through the next few, er, theoretical claims of his,

“Basically,” he hetsplains,

being gay is taking beta orbiting to a new [level]. Instead of becoming the cuckold slave of the girl you become attracted to a man just to become ‘friends’ with the girl.

You worship the girl and the worshipping of femoids has reached a [level] that you want to behave and act like a female, you also take female preference habits (and females prefer to fuck men over other females) so you as a man also want to fuck men.

Sometimes it takes more than one gif.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Mr. Supremacist does not approve of his fellow incels allegedly gaying it up to get sex.

Nope! The guy who spends his spare time posting hateful nonsense on a forum where the regulars call women “femoids” and fantasize endlessly about murdering people in large numbers considers gayness a “cycle of disgustingness and sickness” and thinks those incels who have allegedly converted to gayness should be converted right back.

“[G]ayness is an illness that we should try to cure,” he writes.

I really like the idea of Christian Americans and how they create camps and schools to cure gay people by teaching them about the moral wrongdoing of being gay. They basically approach gayness as a mental illness and many gays tend to change after taking these gay curing sessions within these American Christian communities.

No, these programs — based on bad science and homophobia — don’t work. They just make those who undergo them more miserable. Though I imagine that to Mr. NeetSupremacist, the self-described IncelFAcist, that would be an equally acceptable result.

Once again, the tl;dr is that incels are 1) terrible and 2) wrong about everything.

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By David Futrelle

It’s only been a month since the most stubborn man in the universe broke the internet by trying (and trying again at much greater length) to explain what he incorrectly saw as the correct use of the word “vagina” to a literally world-famous gynocologist.

Now a new mansplaining legend has appeared: A Jezebel commenter called Bagdash who has some choice words for staff writer Ashley Reese about, well, her alleged ignorance about her own labia.

Reese, you see, wrote a brief, three-paragraph piece for Jezebel gently mocking a new pleather “bodysuit” from Fashion Nova that “will probably give me a labial wedgie” and possibly a yeast infection to boot. As you can see from the picture above — or in much greater resolution at the Fashion Nova website — this is an outfit that really is remarkably thin in the crotch area; as the headline of the piece jokingly noted, it seems designed to “Only Cover 15 Percent of My Labia.”

Apparently that “15 percent” line was the camel(toe) that broke poor Mr. Bagdash’s back. In a comment that was literally twice the length of the original story, he offered Reese what he saw as some remedial vulvar education.

“It seems you need an anatomy lesson,” he began promisingly, because obviously only good things can follow when some random cis dude tells a cis woman who he doesn’t even know that he understands her body better than she does.

Labia are not the entirety of the groin. Whereas I can see where you are trying to compensate for the idea that the vagina is the totality of female genital, this is a little beyond what is necessary.

Not sure where this is going but continue.

Some women have large labia minora, which might not fit in this, but not everything in the word is tailor made to YOUR BODY.

Ah, that’s where it’s going: Man yelling in all-caps at a woman about her allegedly plus-sized labia.

You can’t expect for everything to fit you “just right”. Women with smaller labia are also just as normal as you are with whatever your labia size is.

Dude, regardless of the size or shape of a woman’s labia, that thing is going to wedge right up in there, where it will function much like floss between one’s teeth except in an area that definitely does not need flossing. Hence Reese’s remarks about a “labial wedgie.”

Whereas I could give a fuck a bout the Kardashians or this company, maybe some of them might like it.

Honestly, I’m going to guess that not even the Kardashians would much enjoy a 95% polyester, 5% spandex thing basically sandpapering their most delicate parts. I mean, it’s practically trench warfare.

I might want to be able to where pants with a 35″ inseam, but it will never happen because that’s not my body shape.

Sorry you’re not as … tall as you’d like to be, I guess? But that’s not really the issue here.

Instead of whining about shit that doesn’t meet your specific needs, why don’t you champion something that does instead.

This shit company, whatever it is, isn’t doing this to spite you, it just doesn’t fit you. So, like any normal, non-armchair social activists, just buy the shit that fits and don’t buy the shit that doesn’t. If this company is really that shit, which I’m sure it is, then let it be on the smaller-labia-ed women to decide if they like it or not.

Yeah, lady, stop complaining and go shop at the Big-and-Tall Labia Store!

As a short man, I wouldn’t comment on the designs of a big-and-tall store.

Oh, wait, he really is suggesting she shop at a store for larger-labiaed women.

And he really is mad about being short.

So you have big labia. Great. Keep it to yourself. D0 you want me talking about the size of my dick, big or small? For example, these jeans just wouldn’t be able to handle me.

Ok, but what are the chances that this dude has sent unsolicited dick pics to random women on the internet? Just asking.

It’s not for you, I get it. But who fucking cares really. The size of your labia and what they do or do not fit into is not a topic of conversation any more than you would like to hear about my penis and how it might be chafing from my clothes, which you have every right not to want to hear.

Dude, she referred to labia four times in a piece about a bodysuit that is pretty much guaranteed to turn into coochie floss about 30 seconds after anyone with a vagina puts it on. You’ve referred to labia eight times, including several snide references to her own particular labia. You’re the one who won’t shut up about it.

Now to get myself in trouble,

Ah yes, NOW is when you will start saying objectionable things.

a problem with feminism in this sense is that it tries to bring women to the level of men by acting like men.

TIL that cis women talking about their labia means they’re “acting like men.”

That being said, men acting like men has been the problem. We don’t need women to act like men in all of their bullshit.

Be a woman, not like a man—I think we would agree that what we’ve seen over the past couple thousand years and beyond of recorded history is that men are/can be total shit. Don’t be like us.

Well, don’t be like this dude, specifically.

And all that being said, yeah, this whatever it is is stupid.

Dude, “stupid” is a massive understatement when it comes to the “whatever it is” you vomited up into the Jezebel comments.

Can we just have a total shutdown on cis dudes lecturing cis women about their vaginas, their vulvas, their labia, that whole area down there, at least until we can figure out what’s going on?

H/T — @emilyofpratt on Twitter

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By David Futrelle

The Men Going Their Own Way subreddit is filled with a lot of discussion that go something like this:

Yet the level of discourse that goes on amongst MGTOWs on Reddit and elsewhere does not exactly provide robust evidence for the alleged superiority of men.

I mean, these guys are seriously obtuse, and not just about women.

Consider this attempt at a Venn diagram, posted to the MGTOW subreddit by a fellow with the lovely moniker “C*ntplainer,” and intended as a sort of funny overview of the relationship between women and assorted types of men. Then consider that this diagram got 100 upvotes from Reddit’s MGTOWs, with one commenter declaring that “this is gonna be a classic.”

As you no doubt have noticed, this Venn diagram isn’t actually a Venn diagram at all. It’s more like a cargo cult version of a Venn diagram. Sure, it’s got overlapping circles and captions like a real Venn diagram, but they don’t represent overlapping sets. I mean, Mr. Plainer surely isn’t suggesting that some Chads are also Tyrones, and that some of these Chad/Tyrones are also women.

No, as best as I can tell, the overlapping circles represent some sort of interaction, with captions showing what someone from one or the other group involved in the interaction might say about it, at least in the minds of MGTOWs if not in the real world.

But even then it doesn’t follow any sort of logic. Who is supposedly getting genital warts from whom? Are Chad and Tyrone having sex with the same woman, who’s screaming “fuck me, yes!” Or are they fucking each other, too, with either Chad or Tyrone doing the screaming?

Also, why aren’t the incels overlapping with school shooters? It’s all a bit confusing.

C*ntplainer also posted this Venn diagram that actually is a Venn diagram, more or less. Alas, it’s also pretty stupid, if not quite as monumentally stupid as his other contribution.

Still, I’m pretty sure that neither any robber nor any woman has ever uttered the sentence “I am strong and independent but you support me.”

All this reminds me of what may be the greatest Venn diagram of all time, which I believe was the work of comedian Joanna Bradley.

Absolutely nailed it. And, obviously, it’s equally accurate if you replace “Men’s Rights Activists” with MGTOWs. That’s just science.

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By David Futrelle

Blabby racist YouTube “philosopher” Stefan Molyneux is brain geniusing again, and it’s not pretty. Though he’s not a doctor, or a psychologist, or really qualified to offer opinions on any subject at all, Mr. M has discovered the cause of ADHD — and conveniently enough it’s a group of people he hates: immigrants!

I guess the scare quotes around “ADHD” also indicate that the disorder he has just solved isn’t really a disorder in the first place.

But wait, I’m hearing that there’s another cause of this imaginary thing called ADHD, also according to Mr. Molyneux. It’s single moms!

But wait, you may say, if the problem is absent dads, aren’t the absent dads themselves kind of to blame?

No, because in Molyneux World, absent dads are caused by bad moms.

Heads, it’s bad moms; tails, it’s bad moms.

In conclusion, everything is always the fault of someone who isn’t a white dude.

Always good to check in with dear old Stefan and his little nuggets of wisdom.

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By David Futrelle

A couple of weeks back, you may recall, our old friend Roosh V complained, in a tweet, that Satan was giving him boners by making women in his vicinity all sexy and stuff. At the time I wondered if the aging libertine, who now spends much of his time fulminating like a fundamentalist preacher, had truly found God, or if he had just decided to namedrop the Biblical villain for, well, the hell of it. I was skeptical.

But maybe my cynicism was unwarranted? The world’s skeeziest alleged pickup artist has now come out as a brand-new Christian. For real.

In a post on the Roosh V forum, he offered some more details on his conversion.

If you’ve been following my work for a while, you’ll notice I’ve been warning up to faith in God over the years, especially the past year. This is due to witnessing the growth of evil in society, my personal experiences with unbridled hedonism, and my sister’s death.

And no, I wasn’t kidding about the shrooms:

This reached a climax when I received a message while on mushrooms which cemented that faith further, an experience which I will share in the future after I’m done processing it. Sure of my path, I decided to publicly “come out”.

Far freakin’ out, Praise the Lord.

While the shrooms might have triggered his “come to Jesus” moment, Roosh apparently had been heading that direction for some time, fed up with the nihilism of “the black pill” — by which he seems to mean his depression as an aging pickup artist who had gotten as tired of “the game” as most of the very young women he tried to pick up had, I suspect, gotten of him.

I believe that remaining black pilled is unsustainable because of the high degree of despair, meaninglessness, and hopelessless it requires, which goes beyond the human ability to handle. …

The God pill does feel like the final destination, where life becomes about asking Him for help and performing His will in a way that embraces good. My mind is currently buzzing with this new perspective, and I wouldn’t be surprised if much of my new work will be framed around it.

So this changes everything, right? Roosh will stop teaching men how to “bang” women even if they physically push you away and literally tell you “no” thirty times? He’ll renounce the pleasures of the flesh and take up the life of the mind, possibly becoming the next Thomas Merton or Teilhard de Chardin?

Well, not so fast. I mean, first of all, Roosh is an idiot, and his theological speculations are likely to be a mixture of the blindingly obvious and the incredibly dumb.

Second, it turns out Roosh’s vision of Orthodox Christianity is a tad unorthodox. His recent “critiques” of hedonism only seem to apply to women, for one thing. Roosh continues to sell the pickup manuals that many see (not without reason) as date rape how-to guides. And he’s still offering “game” advice on his blog.

No, his newfound faith seems to mainly be providing him with more excuses to rail against the alleged evils of the very same “slutty” women he teaches guys how to “bang.”

Here’s his Satan tweet, as mentioned above:

But there are so many more:

And apparently, in Roosh’s eyes, fat women are also an affront to God.

Roosh continues to rail against LGBT people and the “globohomo agenda.”

And he seems to be turning into quite the anti-Semitic conspiracy theorist.

Indeed, he’s become such a devoted Jew-hater that he’s managed to get one of his Tweets banned in France for promoting the world’s most anti-Semitic ASMR video. Which, yes, is a thing.

Unlike most conservative Christians, Roosh is a big fan of Islam, or at least of those varieties of Islam that treat women and LGBT people as badly as he would like to see them treated.

So maybe I was right to be cynical about Roosh’s newfound interest in religion. The new “Christian” Roosh looks an awful lot like the old awful Roosh, except that now he sometimes makes references to Satan when he spews his hate.

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By David Futrelle

An anonymous fellow recently turned to Yahoo Answers with a plaintive question: Ladies, why won’t you let me love your sexy feet?

More specifically, he asked: “Why do some women try to make their feet look attractive, but think a foot fetish is weird?” Apparently he was a little miffed that these women continue to tease him with their toes.

Females why do you go to extremes to make your feet look good, cute, sexy, attractive and just plain beautiful but when a guy with a foot fetish likes you for your feet you think its weird? When you tell yourself you want your feet to look good, why are you doing that, whats the purpose? 

There are some girls that go to extremes to have the sexiest looking feet, you walk around in high heel shoes, or open toed shoes showing off your feet, but these same girls think that a foot fetish is weird, so how the hell are you going to go to extremes to make your feet look sexy and show off in public but think that the very people that are obsessed with the very thing you tried so hard to make sexy is weird?

Foot Dude, just listen to yourself a little more carefully. Because the answer is hidden in plain sight in your questions. For example, right here:

when a guy with a foot fetish likes you for your feet

No one, not even a woman who has a foot fetish herself, wants to be reduced to a body part. Women don’t object to people who think their feet look good; they object to people who like a certain body part better than they like the person with this body part.

And think a bit more about this line as well:

the very people that are obsessed with the very thing you tried so hard to make sexy

There’s nothing wrong with having a foot fetish. There is something wrong if you rush to tell every woman with “sexy feet” how sexy you think their feet are, how obsessed with feet you are, and, even if only by implication, how horny their feet make you.

Foot fetishists have a reputation for leading with their fetish, and the wording of the question here suggests that you, Foot Dude, may be one of these men. Women really don’t like it when men they don’t know, or with whom they have only a platonic relationship, show up on their doorstep (real or viritual) babbling about how hot their feet are.

They would have a similar reaction if someone showed up babbling about their lips, their ears, or their asses. The body part isn’t the problem. The problem, Foot Dude, is the unwanted intrusion of your sexual thoughts into their lives. Would you like it if, say, an ear fetishist came up to you and started babbling about how much your ears turn them on? No one wants that.

For some reason, foot fetishists seem to have more difficulty than most in remembering this basic tenet of sexual etiquette. I don’t know if they’re actually worse about this, or if it’s just that people notice it more from them because their particular fetish seems weirder than, say, the more common fetish of someone who likes big butts and can not lie.

But if you ever take a stroll through the CreepyPMs subreddit, filled with screenshots of creepy, unsolicited private messages that women (mostly) get from men (mostly), you’ll notice that a strikingly large number of them involve feet.

Here are a a couple of cringeworthy examples of this particular genre of creepy PM that I plucked from the subreddit because I think they help to make all this a little more understandable. Also, they’re sort of hilarious. (Click on the pics to see the original posts.)

If you have a foot fetish, and the person you’re asking for “a feet” pic knows you have a foot fetish — and if you’re asking them for foot pics, they know — asking for foot pics isn’t somehow less creepy than asking for pictures of their genitals. They know you get off on feet, so it’s as brazenly a sexual come-on as if you asked for a pic of them goatse-ing themselves.

Foot Dude, there are women online who will be happy to sell you their foot pics. It’s not hard to recognize them because their online profiles say things like “I sell foot pics” or “DM me for foot pics.” Go to them rather than bothering random women or, equally bad, women you know.

Hell, doing research for this post I ran across a variety of subreddits devoted to free foot pics of all sorts, including one in which foot exhibitionists display their feet with one sock on, and one sock off for the pleasure of Foot Dudes just like you. I had no idea that was even a thing.

Now let’s go back to a slightly different sort of creepy foot PM:

The problem here, Foot Dude, isn’t that this poor man is being discriminated against by a woman who’s maybe a little squicked out by the idea of someone huffing her feet. She has every right to be squicked out if she is.

And even if she’s actually into this particular fetish, she has a right to be annoyed. Because the real problem is that he’s trying to pull her into a sexual conversation — and one that is 100% turning him on as he thumb-types out his comments — without her consent.

It’s basically the foot fetishist equivalent of sending an unsolicited dic pic, or pulling your dick out in public, flasher-style. Even women who are huge fans of dicks don’t like it when dudes they don’t know drop pics of their particular dicks into their DMs unsolicited.

It really doesn’t matter why some women “go to extremes to make [their] feet look good.” Some do it because they like to look put-together in general; some do it because they like the ritual; some like the feeling of cleanliness and smooth skin; some even do it because it makes them feel sexy. And I’m sure there are all sorts of other reasons.

But, Foot Dude, they’re not doing it for you in particular, and if you want to appreciate the “sexy feet” of women you see out walking around in the world, do it discreetly. If you want to talk about your foot fetish, find some other foot fetishists to talk about it with. Google is your friend.

Now, if you want to find a woman who appreciates your foot fetish as much as you appreciate her feet, and you don’t want to pay them for the privilege, well, that’s probably going to take a little more work. No one ever said that love was easy. In the meantime, refrain from pestering women you don’t know about their feet, no matter how sexy you think they are.

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By David Futrelle

I‘ve got a piece up today at NBC News THINK explaining how one of the most toxic ideas popularized by the Men’s Rights movement has helped to fuel the hateful ideology of the alt-right.

Specifically, I look at the way the misogynistic notion of “hypergamy” — as defined by a white nationalist, popularized by Men’s Rights Activists, MGTOWs and “Red Pillers” generally, then fed back to the right — underlies the alt-right’s obsession with, and insecurities about, “cucking,” both on a personal and cultural level, which the alt-right weaponizes in its attacks on immigrants. Misogyny feeds into racism, and vice versa.

From the article:

This fear of female sexual “disloyalty” has its roots in the notion of “hypergamy,” a discredited evolutionary psychology theory promulgated by Men’s Rights Activists and similar anti-woman communities convinced that women are biologically wired to abandon loyal “beta males” as soon as an alpha walks by. Men’s Rights Activist Paul Elam several years ago wrote that it drives “women outside their marriages for more sexually exciting adventures … with physically superior male specimens” who can provide both better sex and more masculine genes for her offspring. Elam, like many other proponents of the spurious theory, is convinced that a huge percentage of married men are unknowingly raising children that aren’t their own. (Multiple studies, meanwhile, suggest the actual number is around 1 or 2 percent and has been for hundreds of years.)

“Alt-rightists” have taken [this] notion one step further, attacking white women not only for allegedly cuckolding their husbands but also for cuckolding their race by dating and having children with non-white men. In a 2015 post on The Daily Stormer, neo-Nazi polemicist Andrew Anglin denounced what he called “the greasiest cuckolding of all,” declaring, in all seriousness, that “[t]he White European female’s craving for Black d— threatens to collapse civilization itself.”

There’s a lot more to the piece, but that’s the key argument. You can read it here.

The piece has already inspired some deep thought and introspection among right-wingers.

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UPDATE: Two more women have come forward to accuse Biden of inappropriate touching, making four in all.

By David Futrelle

It’s not exactly news that Joe Biden has a groping problem. We’ve all seen the videos, year after year, of Biden playing the role of creepy uncle at event after event, pawing weirdly at the shoulders, and hips, and sometimes even the chests of women and girls in his vicinity, fussing with their hair, perhaps leaning in to whisper something in their ears or even to kiss them on the back of their head.

But up until now we haven’t heard from any of the women in these videos — or anyone else treated in a similar way when the cameras weren’t near. No more. On Friday. as you no doubt know, Democratic politician and former Nevada State Assemblywoman Lucy Flores came forward with a story about how Biden, backstage at an campaign rally, had come up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

“I felt him get closer to me from behind,” Flores wrote in an essay published in New York magazine’s The Cut on Friday.

He leaned further in and inhaled my hair. I was mortified. I thought to myself, “I didn’t wash my hair today and the vice-president of the United States is smelling it. And also, what in the actual fuck? Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?” He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head.

Flores didn’t appreciate Biden’s act of “friendliness.” She was, rather,

embarrassed … shocked [and] confused. …

The vice-president of the United States of America had just touched me in an intimate way reserved for close friends, family, or romantic partners — and I felt powerless to do anything about it. …

At that moment, she recalled, she wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole.

Now that she has come forward with her story, she may be feeling the same way — because her straightforward and eminently believable account is being attacked as a vicious lie, a smear job by a political operative who was possibly paid for her service.

Her attackers, most of them Democrats, are sounding more than a little like the MAGA-heads who attacked Brett Kavanaugh’s accuser
Christine Blasey Ford. It’s not a good look for any Democrat.

Some are asking her the same question so many Kavanaugh defenders asked about Ford: why didn’t she come forward immediately? The clear implication is that unless a woman goes public immediately with her accusations there is something fishy about her story.

There are all sorts of perfectly legitimate and understandable reasons victims of sexual harassment or sexual assault don’t come forward immediately, or ever.

And Flores has already answered this question in her piece on The Cut: He was the fucking Vice President of the United States, who was there doing her a political favor. She didn’t think his actions quite rose “to the level of what most people consider sexual assault.” If she and Biden had been working in the same office, she could (and says she would) have gone to HR; there’s no mechanism to deal with this sort of thing in politics. And then there was the reaction she knew she would get from Biden supporters.

“For years,” she writes,

I feared my experience would be dismissed. Biden will be Biden. Boys will be boys. I worried about the doubts, the threats, the insults, and the minimization. “It’s not that big of a deal. He touched her, so what?” The immediate passing of judgement and the questioning of motives. “Why now? Why so long after? She just wants attention.” Or: “It’s politically motivated.”

In the few days since her story appeared online, every single one of these fears has come true.

What made her decide to come forward at last? She says it was the videos, the same videos we’ve all seen. She couldn’t stand to see a possible future president of the US doing to other women and girls what she says he did to her.

Of course, most of Flores’ critics either haven’t heard her explanation, or they have and have decided to dismiss it. For them, it’s all a big “smear,” a political “hit job,” probably on behalf of some nefarious villain.

For a lot of the critics, that villain is Bernie Sanders.

In fact, while Flores was a Bernie supporter in 2016 and served on the board of the Bernie-friendly Our Revolution organization for a time, she hasn’t said who she’s supporting this go-around As CNN has noted, she was recently spotted at a Beto rally, and has said positive things about Kamala Harris’ campaign.

Some are even suggesting Flores — a former Nevada state assemblywoman, serial Democratic candidate, and the head of a progressive Latina advocacy group called Luz Collective — is working as an agent for … Donald Trump or some shadowy Trump-friendly right-wing cabal.

One critic even seemed to suggest a plot spearheaded by meatloaf-headed Fox News host and Trump fan Sean Hannity … and
an obscure publication called Cutter magazine?

This would be a strange conspiracy indeed, because, as far as I can tell, Cutter magazine doesn’t exist, and back when it did exist, it was not a political journal but rather a trade publication for hairstylists?

I kid. Obviously AlphaFemale is just mangling the name of the decidedly non-Hannityesque The Cut, where Flores’ piece was published, and which I’ve written for as well.

Many of Flores’ less-conspiracy minded critics think the only person she’s working for is herself — that she’s a fame-hungry nobody who just wants a moment in the spotlight.

This is, of course, exactly what many of Kavanaugh’s defenders said about Ford, who was, you may recall, so excited about her newfound fame that she literally went into hiding after her testimony to protect herself and her family from possible violence from the MAGAs who had bombarded her with threats and abuse.

Some are trying a time-tested strategy of psychological manipulation known as DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender), accusing Flores of being the real sexual harasser, because she allegedly put her hand on his shoulder first.

Never mind that a simple hand on the shoulder was never the issue. Flores, as you recall, says Biden, backstage at an event, grabbed both of her shoulders from behind, leaned forward to sniff her hair, and then “proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head.” That’s different than briefly putting not even your hand but just two fingers on the shoulder of someone taking a selfie with you in it.

But the strangest, er, argument I’ve seen against Flores is that she’s a hypocrite because … she let Bernie touch her shoulders and didn’t complain about it.

When I first ran across this argument last night, in the tweet below, I was completely taken aback.

As I put it on Twitter: yeah, it’s kind of up to Flores to decide who can put their hands on her shoulders, since they are, you know, her shoulders.

Also, I don’t see Bernie smelling her hair or planting a big wet one of the back of her head.

Remarkably, I’ve run across others making the same weird argument as Holle:

This is appalling. It’s also not going to work. Kavanaugh won his #MeToo battle because Republicans — the politicians and the voters alike — have shown that they don’t give two shits about even the most credible stories of sexual harassment, sexual assault, or even child molestation — at least if the alleged perp is one of them.

But Democrats — most of them, anyway — actually care about this shit, as well they should. And Flores is only the first Biden accuser to speak up. A second accuser has already come forward with another story of inappropriate touching by Biden. More will surely follow, and because of the ample video evidence of Biden’s long history of bad touches it won’t be hard for most of us to believe them.

Last night I tried watching some of the videos in a Twitter thread devoted to Biden’s creepy behavior, and I couldn’t make it past the first couple of them without literally flinching in disgust — as some of the women and girls in the videos can’t help but doing themselves. To anyone still supporting Biden, I challenge you to watch the videos in this thread. Every single one of them. And then tell me that Flores is lying and that Biden is just a friendly old uncle. I don”t think you’ll be able to. His behavior is disqualifying. It can’t be excused any longer.

2020 is going to be ugly. But it will be a lot less ugly if Biden does the right thing and takes himself out of consideration. He’s had a long political career. It’s time for it to be over.

NOTE: I’m aware that there are trolls and even presumably some Russian bots on Twitter who are eager to amplify fights between the supporters of different candidates. I’ve made a point in this post to only quote those Tweeters who seem to be legit Democrats posting sincerely and to avoid those that have small follower counts or that look fishy for other reasons. And in case you’re wondering: I have not yet chosen a candidate myself; I have some issues with everyone out there, frankly, though there are several candidates I certainly could end up supporting without too much regret. I obviously would vote for even a literal piece of shit over Trump, but I would really prefer it if that piece of shit was not named Joe Biden.

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By David Futrelle

Manosphere dudes love to spread their ideas, such as they are, through memes. And most of these memes are just plain terrible — badly designed, vaguely incomprehensible, and full of blatant misinformation.

I’ve made fun of assorted manosphere meme fails many times here on We Hunted the Mammoth, but I haven’t ever made a concerted attempt to fact-check their claims. So I’m going to start doing that.

Here’s the first meme on my list.

THE CLAIM: Women age like milk, men age like wine.

This central claim of this meme — that men age better than women — is a favorite folk belief of the modern Man Going His Own Way, and MGTOW memers like to illustrate this point with photos of the two main stars of the 1986 movie Top Gun — Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis — from the movie itself and as they look today, more than 30 years later. This is the newest version of the meme I’ve been able to find:

In order to properly assess this claim, you’d need a representative sample of people of various ages and a reasonably objective way to judge their relative attractiveness (perhaps using some sort of large survey in which a representative sampling of people judged a set of pictures).

What we’ve got instead is a sample of two, and the person doing the judging is the sort of dude who sits around making MGTOW memes in his spare time. Not only is the sample way too small to be statistically significant, but it’s also wildly unrepresentative, given that one of the two subjects is Tom Cruise, a genetic freak who doesn’t appear to age. Normally you’d throw him out of any data sampling as an outlier.

Using him to represent how men, on average, age makes about as much sense as using, say, Helen Mirren as your example of how women, on average, age. I mean, here’s Helen Mirren at the Oscars in 2002, when she was about the same age as Cruise is now (56).

And here she is in a bikini at the age of 62.

I mean, who can compete with that? I’ve got more than a few years to go before I hit 62, and I certainly don’t look that good in a bikini.

Tom Cruise, like Helen Mirren, is a decidedly non-representative data point.

You don’t even have to expand your data set very much to see just how unrepresentative Cruise is. All you have to do is to look at some current pics of some of the other male stars from Top Gun.

Here’s Anthony Edwards today, looking neither like fine wine or curdled milk bur rather like a dude in his mid-fifties, which is what he is:

Val Kilmer, now 59, is fighting freaking cancer, which is a motherfucker.

Tim Robbins, at 60 years old., still retains some of his perpetual boyish charm, but there probably aren’t a lot of teenage girls with this picture tacked to their wall.

The point is: different men age differently, and very few of them — even Hollywood stars — age as gracefully as Tom Cruise.

So that’s the men. What about Kelly McGillis, who’s now 61? Well, in the recent picture in the meme above she certainly doesn’t look much like curdled milk to me. I mean, sure, she doesn’t look like she did in Top Gun, but if THIS is your example of a 60-year-old who’s aged badly you seriously need your eyes (or your brain) checked.

But again, basing your aging expectations on Hollywood stars is a bit ridiculous. The real world tends to be a bit less less glamorous.. Some age gracefully, some not so much, and I’m pretty sure it has little to do with their gender.

And let’s not even get into that chart, which isn’t based on any actual data but rather is just something some dude put together using data points he pulled from his ass. Also, if you look at the age range across the bottom, it appears that the graph maker thinks 11-year-old girls are more sexually attractive than 50 year-old-women? Jesus fucking Christ.

VERDICT: The meme maker’s claim is unsubstaintiated, due to small and unrepresentative sample size and blatant misreading of the data. And the only thing the chart proves is that the chart maker should probably be on some registry somewhere.

You may be left wondering how gracefully MGTOWs themselves age. Well, I don’t have a representative sample to work off of, but I do have some anecdotal evidence in the form of the video below, showing an assortment of mostly middle-aged Men’s Rights Activists and MGTOWs enjoying themselves at a retreat organized by A Voice for Men.

Though this video practically reeks of alcohol, I have to say I’m not seeing a lot of fine wine here.

Now growing old gracelessly isn’t a crime or a moral failing; how you look at any age is really no one’s business but your own. But MGTOWs like to throw a lot of stones, and it appears that in this case, as in so many others, their homes are made of pure glass.

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By David Futrelle

Perhaps one of the reasons that so many men are convinced women aren’t funny is that these guys have no idea when women are making fun of them.

Consider this exchange that took place on Twitter yesterday when a women who is definitely not seven and a half feet tall responded jokingly to a Very Serious tweet by white nationalist Paul Ramsey, aka Ramzpaul.

So far, just a fairly normal Twitter convo. But for some reason Alex decided that this was a claim he needed to disprove with SCIENCE. So he tracked down a picture from her wedding and started drawing red lines all over it like a weirdo..

Well I guess that’s that, then.

It’s not clear if Alex also thought he was being funny here, but it seems like a long way to go for a bit that, at best, makes you look like a creeper with a tiny sense of humor and that, at worst, makes you look like a completely humorless dingus and ALSO a creeper.

Another tweeter offered this alternate theory of Amy’s height, though I think it’s possible he might have tampered with the evidence a teensy bit.

Doing my own research on the topic I have determined that, while rare, it is quite possible for women to be seven and a half feet tall — and even much taller, as the poster for this documentary makes clear.

Indeed, judging from the relative size of the cars in this poster, it seems like the documentary makers may have seriously underestimated the size of this very tall woman.

I will investigate further and return with some diagrams.

Note to extremely literal-minded readers: Post contains

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By David Futrelle

Incels have a lot of thoughts about slavery. When they’re not fantasizing about enslaving women, or comparing their own plight to slavery, they sometimes ponder the history of slavery in the real world.

In general, their thoughts on this subject are not restrained by any actual knowledge, so their imaginations are free to wander. Consider, for example, this post on the Incels.is forum form last fall, in which a fellow calling himself ControlledInsanity asserted that enslaved women have historically had it extremely easy, living lives of happy idleness interrupted only by a few mostly pleasurable moments of sex.

Slavery itself accentuates the inherent value of each gender.

Enslaved men —> physical labor

Enslaved women —> sex

I cannot trick myself into believing that being forced to work hard manual labor is in any way “equal” to being kept to dispense periodic pleasure. Easy mode is not even a meme to me anymore, foids really actually do have a lower difficulty setting aura that follows them through life. All of their greatest successes and all of their greatest hardships are padded by special treatment.

Would anyone on this forum ever object to being a sex slave?

Naturally, a commenter quickly stepped up to praise Mr. Insanity’s post as “high IQ,.” Another congratulated him for his original insight:

i never thought it like that, hell even in ancient times foid slaves had it easy…fuck…..

To be a sex slave you have to be normie tier at least.

Still another contrasted the life of “a man slave” trapped in a life of “torturing labour” to the

female version … forced to lend her body couple of minutes a day to experience rough copulation and maybe orgasm with her owner.

One suggested that many men would kill to lead a life in which they were raped on a daily basis.

Truly wtf is it that what females consider a tortured existence would actually be a godsend for many men?

“Being a sex slave wouldn’t be bad,” added someone called Blue Squirtle.

but [foids] make … it seem worse, how is being a slave for sex as bad as labor? At least sex doesn’t result in getting whipped and beaten it the job isn’t done right.

Uh, I’m pretty sure it did, but never mind.

Still, not all of the commenters agreed that slavery had been a paradise of strawberries and rape for enslaved women. A commenter called JovanD, for example, was pretty sure that female slaves had to work, too.

Are you even aware how much slaves cost back in the day? 

I highly doubt slave owner would have them sit around and do nothing but have sex…

Others suggested that being raped by a “big ugly man” on a daily basis might not actually be all that much fun for enslaved women — or men.

“You know that women really don’t want to fuck ugly, sweaty guys, right?” asked INeed4000Bucks.

That’s why chads don’t need sex slaves. I’m pretty sure the only sex those fat guys would have if they weren’t powerful men is through rape or with no one at all.

Well, to be fair, plenty of women do happily fuck ugly, sweaty guys. But no woman wants to be raped, no matter who is doing the raping.

Mr. Insanity clarified that what he meant by sexual slavery for men involved being sexily enslaved by women, not men.

I get what you’re saying but that isn’t a direct analog. Enslaved women are forced to fuck men, generally not forced to fuck women. I know that in reality, male sex slaves would also be taking dick but, for illustrative purposes, my analogy assumes the male sex slaves equivalent would be forced to fuck women.

And what man wouldn’t like that?

“I think most men wouldn’t mind being raped by women at all,” chirped someone called Frankenstein’s M, who has evidently never spoken to any man who actually has been raped.

For his part, Mr. Insanity was simply incredulous that anyone could possibly think that “fucking somebody you’re not attracted to = forced backbreaking labor.”

I have no words left at this point, so here’s a gif that, while wildly overused, pretty much nails my reaction right now better than anything else out there.

I’m going to go lie down for a while.

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By David Futrelle

A couple of months ago, Gillette infuriated Men’s Rights Activists and other terrible people with an ad challenging toxic masculinity and suggesting that maybe it wasn’t such a good thing for men and boys to go around bullying and harassing people.

Now Gillette has a new ad out that seems designed to enrage, well, pretty much the same exact mob that came after them then. The ad, promoting Gillette Venus razors for women, features Internet-famous model Anna O’Brian — a.k.a Glitter and Lasers — posing triumphantly on a beach in a two-piece swimsuit, arms raised to the sky.

This isn’t the first time a Gillette ad has featured a woman in a swimsuit. But this particular woman happens to be fat, and so a vast horde of angry men (mostly) have gone online to attack Gillette for “glorifying obesity” and surrendering to the cuck soyboy hairy feminist woke SJW overlords. These health-conscious gentlemen and ladies have also mocked the model herself, calling her a predictable assortment of names, suggesting that she smells, and predicting that she’ll die soon.

On Twitter, quite a few decided to play the role of a “concerned” doctor:

Never mind that fat does not automatically mean unhealthy. Never mind that thin people can be unhealthy. Never mind that diets can be so unhealthy as to be dangerous. And never mind that fat shaming is not only not an effective way to inspire people to lose weight — and often causes its targets to gain weight — it’s also a threat to their health, both mental and physical.

Of course, quite a few of the commenters didn’t even bother to pretend that their complaints had anything to do with health. Most were not terribly original with their insults.

Other commenters pulled out all their favorite right-wing buzzwords for the occasion:

Some thought that this new ad, like Gillette’s “toxic masculity” ad in January, was really just a sneaky way to attack … men.

Over on the always despicable Breitbart, which noted that in addition to Anna, Gillette has also used trans activist Jazz Jennings in recent ads, the commenters were a bit blunter.

Well, I guess Gillette has started another “conversation,” as they like to say whenever they do something they know will provoke an angry mob. So sad that all it takes is a picture of a fat woman unapologetically wearing a bikini to unleash a wave of hate.

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CORRECTION: The original version of this post contained a picture of someone who was not “Jack Corbin.” I have removed it.

By David Futrelle

Fascist shitposter “Jack Corbin” — a serial harasser of antifascist activists and a onetime online buddy of Pittsburgh Synagogue shooter Robert Bowers — thinks he’s found a solution to the problem of mass shootings by angry, bitter incels. At least the white ones.

He calls it “sexual reparations.” And he may have sort of stolen the idea from Jordan Peterson. Who may have sort of borrowed the idea from the incels themselves.

In a post on Gab today, Corbin spelled out the basics of his plan:

In a Gab post yesterday, “Corbin” — whose real name is
Daniel McMahon, according to Right Wing Watch — explored this lovely idea in more detail, suggesting that it would play a central role in his presumably never-going-to-happen run for the presidency in 2024.

A presidential run? 8-10 white children? Rapists allowed to sue their sex slaves if their perfume makes them sneeze? Is this all just one big shitpost?

Well, yes and no. We can dismiss posts like these as jokes only if we ignore the fact that Nazis and “edgy” racists use humor as a way to normalize their hateful ideas and make them go down easier, as writer Tauriq Moosa has noted. Daily Stormer publisher Andrew Anglin is a virtuoso shitposter who learned his craft on 4chan; he’s also deadly serious. Both the Toronto van attacker and the Christchurch mosque shooter made references to memes in the messages they left behind to explain why they decided to commit their acts of terrorism.

Another reason we can’t dismiss “Corbin’s” posts as jokes? Because his words online — however hyperbolic or ridiculous they may sometimes sound — have already been used to cause harm in the real world. He’s terrorized antifa activists with threats and by posting their personal information online.

And his words may also have helped to influence Pittsburgh synagogue shooter Robert Bowers in his decision to take his hatred offline, murdering 11 in a shooting rampage only a little more than five months ago. Bowers was a regular on Gab, and while he interacted with a number of well-known far-right figures on the site, the person he interacted most with was “Corbin.”

While “Corbin’s” rants are simultaneously horrific and ludicrous, it’s worth pointing out that his plan for “sexual reparations” is in many ways just a more carefully thought out version of the notion of “enforced monogamy” as a solution to incel killing sprees that was set forth last year by supposedly serious thinker Jordan Peterson.

In order to work as planned, both, er, “solutions” to the problem of incel violence would require women to be somehow compelled to have sex with the sort of men who think a killing spree is an appropriate response to not getting laid.

“Corbin” is fairly clear that these women would be literally forced to have sex, with an implicit threat of violence or jail hanging over their heads. Peterson, for his part, denies that his version of “enforced monogamy” would be, well, enforced in this way, but has offered no suggestions as to what non-coercive mechanism could somehow, er, inspire the women of the world to have sex with men who are presumably having some trouble getting laid now because women may just be able to sense that they have secret shrines to Elliot Rodger hidden in their closets.

Versions of the “sexual reparations” and/or “enforced monogamy” have been common on incel forums for years now. Now these incels have the explicit support of a dangerous self-described fascist with a direct connection to the man who carried out an anti-Semitic mass shooting that took eleven lives. No way this could end badly, huh?

H/T to @scottkernest and @AntiFashGordon, who highlighted “Corbin’s” Gab posts on Twitter.

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By David Futrelle

I regret to inform you that the gamers are at it again. Or at least that subset of gamers who have somehow convinced themselves that finishing games on the hardest possible mode is an accomplishment as momentous as say, curing cancer or rescuing a litter of puppies from the 15th floor of a skyscraper in your underwear, or something.

What’s got the gamers’ manties in a bunch this time? Well, it tutns out that several games journalists have suggested that maybe the ninja vs. samurai game Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, released last month, would be a bit more fun and accessible if it had an easy mode.

You’d think that someone had banned them from eating chicken tenders for life.

Gamebros have long preached about the evils of easy mode, but something about suggesting that a deliberately difficult game like Sekiro should have an option for those who don’t want to end up punching a hole through their monitor in frustration was too much for these sensitive — sorry, I mean, EXTREMELY TOUGH –gamer souls to bear

And then there was this masterpiece of angry gamer pomposity:

Some of the angry gamers (like, for example, Mr. Fetusberry himself) denied they were “gatekeeping” their hobby. But others did their best impression of a mean bouncer.

Others don’t mind letting the “weaklings” play, but only if they end up getting properly emasculated for choosing easy mode.

It’s worth remembering that these guys — and most of those yelling the loudest about this are indeed guys — are basing their self-assessments as “non-pussies” and “non-weaklings” om their prowess at a game that involves sitting at their computer hitting keys real fast.

Wow, guys, you’ve proved that you’re so obsessed with video games that you’re willing to grind through difficult game missions over and over again until you get good enough to beat it. Ten year olds can do this.

But these guys have convinced themselves that playing a ninja game has somehow made them the equivalent of an actual ninja.

What makes their complaints even more pathetic is that adding an easy mode to Sekiro wouldn’t stop them from playing the harder modes that these guys love so much. It would just make the game more accessible to a wider range of players.

How fragile must your masculinity be if you feel threatened by someone else enjoying a game that you like but with a little bit of the difficulty dialed back? WHO FUCKING CARES?

Some people play games in order to master them, to beat the final boss on the hardest difficulty setting; other people like to play to relax.

I’m in the second camp. And so, while I’ve been playing video games, off and on, for nearly three decades, I basically still kind of suck at them, despite devoting many hundreds of hours to some of my favorite games — generally the sort of open-world games that allow the maximum amount of just goofing off. I almost always play games on easy mode at first, at least until I get the hang of them. Sometimes I stick with easy mode because, well, I just don’t feel like dealing with a lot of frustration. I paid for the game, shouldn’t I get to enjoy it how I want to? Oh, and I was kind of addicted to the Candy Crush games for a little while.

Are you really not a real gamer, as “Gorilla Channel” inventor @pixelatedboat sarcastically suggested on Twitter, “unless you treat gaming as a horrible, joyless job you don’t get paid for.”

Seriously, if the mostly casual way I play video games, sitting by myself or with a friend in the privacy of my own apartment, offends you as a gamer, might I suggest that you maybe just shut the fuck up about it? What fucking difference does it make to you how I or any other “weakling” gamer plays a game.

I mean, Jesus Christ, dudes. Get a grip on yourselves.

H/T to Shitty Gamer Takes on Twitter, who highlighted that tweet about “weaklings” needing to go back to mobile games and got me heading down this whole rabbithole.

UPDATE: I added the tweet from Fetusberry; thanks to kupo in the comments!

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By David Futrelle

Incels, and quite a few of their misogynistic brethren in the MGTOW and Men’s Rights movements, are more than a little obsessed with what they see as the impending arrival of super-realistic sexbots that, these guys think, will make women obsolete, because in their minds all that women are good for is sex anyway.

So hard to understand why they can’t get laid!

Well, I have some good news for them — and perhaps even more importantly, for the actual human women that these guys continue to pester for sex while they wait for the sexbot utopia.

The technology is already available for dudes who would like to enjoy some of the sensations of real bump-and-grind sex with women without any women being there. The Chinese company Sanwe has rolled out (literally, it has wheels on it) something called the SW-3701 Trolley Type Sperm Collector/ Automatic Semen Collector/ Premature Ejaculation Instrument, and it could well turn out to be the girl of many an incel’s dreams.

The SW-3701 — let’s call her Swanna, which is a real if somewhat uncommon female name, honest — is a medical device designed to extract and collect semen samples, to put it a little euphemistically, from guys too shy to jerk off in a doctor’s office. She’s been around for a few years, but I only learned of her after videos of her in action kind of blew up on Twitter a couple of days ago.

Clearly this device could have, er, non-medical uses.

Now, Swanna may not be much to look at — she’s not what you’d call a Stacey, and indeed the only indication she’s even a she is the pink coloring.

But as the second video there makes clear she seems to have some some mad skills that make her far more than just a glorified Fleshlight that moves back and forth by itself. Could be a fun little romp for all the penis-havers now living in lonelytown — or at least for those not too terrified by the mysterious red glow or the weird tentacle-mouth-anus-thing up in there.

I’ve been perusing some of the documentation and promotional material for this unique device, and I have much to report.

Here are some of Swanna’s main features, as described on its her product page on Alibaba, where you can purchase it her for the low, low price of $4,999.

(1)The device can simulate the environment of women’s vagina which makes the patient feel comfortable in the process of collecting semen.

(2)Provide a full range of visual, auditory and olfaction stimulation

Basically, it plays porn on the little screen on top; presumably the headphones are for the porn as well.

But, er, olfaction? What exactly does an Automatic Semen Collection Instrument (Trolley Type) smell like? Flowers? Vagina? Chanel No. 5? Cheetos?

(3)Exclusive semen-collection sheath can eliminate contamination of semen

(4)All-round isolation measures to prevent cross-infection

Basically, the user attaches what is essentially the Automatic Semen Collecter version of a female condom on Swanna’s pink tube, and also wears a condom himself, to keep from getting Swanna’s insides all gunked (and spunked) up.

(5)All-round air bags make semen-collection true experience.

I have no idea what that means, except that maybe the air bags are what make those tentacle things on the inside of Swanna’s tube move?

(6)Good human-machine interface and easy to operate

I would hope this would be the case for every device that someone is sticking their dick in.

According to the product page, the device serves several “therapeutic functions,” including, of course, semen collection.

It can simulate vaginal environment, and through massage, twitching, sucking, vibration, etc., act upon the human penis, which can make semen collection be fast and safe.

Despite her apparent ability to collect semen “fast,” with all that sucking and twitching and whatnot, Swanna can also, apparently, help penis-havers who are maybe too quick to give up their semen.

Premature ejaculation desensitization training

The strong currents impact and rub the glans penis repeatedly in order to reduce the excitability of nerve endings so as to passivate the nerve of glans penis, sulcus coronarius, and the surface of the penis, and regulate the sex nerve center in order to minimize nerve sensitivity, improve ejaculatory threshold to treat premature ejaculation.

So our dear Swanna apparently has a special mode where she … beats the crap out of any penis in her tube until it’s too numb to feel?

Definitely check with your doctor before trying that out.

If all this sounds a bit clinical and maybe even a little scary, perhaps this promotional video with soothing music will put you at ease. It’s not in English (obviously) but I think you can probably follow along pretty well regardless.

In case you didn’t actually watch all that, here are a few highlights.

The machine apparently comes equipped with incel-ready porn.

Also, and alongside the mysterious red light this may be my favorite thing about the device: You start Swanna up by pressing on her big pink button, conveniently located above her, er, opening.

This may be as close as some incels ever come to touching a clit, and happily it is designed to be a little easier for them to find.

Note to incels: With actual human vagina-havers, the pink button is located a lot closer to the opening. And you have to do a bit more than just press it once for your partner to become fully turned on.

Swanna, unlike human women, also comes with a user’s manual, with many interesting features. For example, it contains these extremely sexy instructions to getting down with Lady SW.

1) Adjusting the sperm barrel height into a appropriate position.

This is also an important step when having sex with fellow humans.

2) Watch DVD disc before using it. (DVD discs are on the rear LCD screen. In the shutdown case, just gently push up to replace the LCD screen discs)

With humans, this is optional, though sometime’s it’s nice to watch a movie together first. Or at least the first ten minutes of it.

3) Users stand wearing a condom on the penis before using, with a little human lubricant on the condom.

Definitely use a lubricant specifically for humans. I cannot stress this enough. If the lubricant is glowing, and the box has a 5-dimensional hologram of a space alien on it, set it down immediately, before the quantum entanglement effects kick in.

4) Put the penis into sperm tube, turn on the switch of the master power supply, and adjust the pressure regulator knob to the appropriate massage efforts and then begin to massage the penis.

Exactly like in human sex.

5) After the penile erection, turn on the speed adjustment knob, which can change motion speed.

Again, just like in human sex. Not complicated at all.

6) For some time, after the completion of successfully fetching sperm, please turn off the speed adjustment knob and the master switch.

You may also wish to smoke a cigarette, though if you’re using this in your doctor’s office that’s probably not a good idea.

One troubleshooting tip: if you get a little too, er, passionate during the penis insertion portion of the robot sex, you and the machine may need to take a little breather. As the manual explains:

Because the improper improper improper improper forcibly forcibly forcibly forcibly of the user, the Instruments Instruments Instruments Instruments with power-off power-off power-off power-off protection. protection. protection. protection. The device can recovery recovery recovery recovery by itself about 2 minutes. minutes. minutes. minutes. Please don’t operate operate operate operate or touch the machine machine machine machine in the period of power-off power-off power-off power-off protection. protection. protection. protection. If the device can’t recovery recovery recovery recovery in 2 minutes, minutes, minutes, minutes, please restart restart restart restart it.

I’m not exactly sure what happened there. I cut and pasted directly from the manual, which didn’t contain the extra words. I will assume that this is an important secret message from the robot world and leave the extra words in.

Anyway, if anyone else has a date with Swanna after you, you need to make sure that either you or your doctor cleans up the disgusting mess you left behind. And cast that fucking shit OUT.

Avoid overlapping infection, each user has a set of tube and tube cover when they are inspected. The tube and tube cover are disposable consumables, we can’t throw them into the dustbin directly, we should cast away them after destroing them.

Then there’s this unsettling instruction:

Please purchase the consumers from our company.

I don’t even want to know what that’s about.

Speaking of confusing, if any of the other instructions seem a bit unclear to you, there is also a helpful flow chart, though honestly it raises as many questions as it answers.

The interrogation portion sounds kind of hot, though.

Definitely “clear up the things.” Clear up ALL THE THINGS.

I think I’ve covered all the important points here.

Incels, this is your future. Enjoy it! I now pronounce you man and waifu.

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By David Futrelle

So, you ask, or maybe you don’t, what are the incels on Reddit getting mad about today? Well, at least seventy of them — to judge by their upvotes — are getting pig-biting mad at a cartoon by a woman who enjoys having her hair pulled during sex.

Specifically, this cartoon:

Posting the cartoon in the Braincels subreddit under the thoughtful title “All girls grow up into degenerate whores who crave to be dominated by Chad,” the incel Redditor who calls himself ASS_F declared:

All this because of … hair pulling? Hair pulling.

Jesus, dude, hair pulling is one of the most garden-variety fetishes out there, so common it barely even rates as a fetish. In terms of “degeneracy” it’s probably up there with “earlobe nibbling” or “nipple pinching.”

But, apparently trying to prove to the world that they can get mad about literally anything, some of the commenters in the thread were less angry about a cartoon character who enjoys getting her hair pulled than they were about the hypothetical cartoon character they imagined was doing the pulling — assuming that the (possibly) Asian woman in the cartoon was dating a Chadly white dude rather than an Asian guy of similar attractiveness.

Yes, this self-described “Ricecel” is an Asian guy calling Asian women “noodlewhores.”

AMAF, by the way, means “Asian Male/Asian Female.”

As fucked as all that is, it’s not quite as fucked at the comment by this guy, who decided to use this thread as an opportunity to expound upon his vision of the ideal heterosexual relationship.

Huh. I thought the Reddit admins had banned all the hate subreddits. I guess none of this counts as hate?

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By David Futrelle

Twitter is abuzz today with talk of “globohomo psyops” after discovering a tweet from our old friend Roosh V, the rapey pickup-artist-turned-crackpot-moralist, claiming that the first-ever black hole photo that took over the internet yesterday was some sort of “globohomo” hoax designed to make women look good.

No, really.

Roosh deleted this tweet, though he explained his, er, logic here in another tweet that’s still up.

But a screenshot of the “globohomo psyop” tweet has made it’s way around the internet, and quite a few have become instantly enamored of the phrase.

This is hardly the first time Roosh has inveighed against the alleged evils of globohomoism.

Sometimes he mixes and matches his conspiracy theories. Here he claims the Christchurch mosque shootings were an Israeli false flag designed to benefit the Jews and the globohomos at once.

In fact, Roosh has been going on about globohomoism for years now; I’ve even written about his globohomo fiaxtion a couple of times.

But the idea that evil globohomo forces rule the world is older than that. I’m not sure who originated this unique portmanteau word — a mashup of anti-Semitism and homophobia that supposedly stands for “global homogenization” — but I first ran across it on Chateau Heartiste, a blog written by an exceedingly racist pickup artist who’s been a friend of Roosh’s for something like a decade now — and who’s utterly obsessed with all things globohomo.

Now the term has been picked up not only by Roosh but by a wide assortment of alt-rightists and other shitposters.

So without further ado, here are are a bunch of other things that weirdo right-wing shitposters blame on the globohomos.

Killer fungus:

Wars to spread sodomy:

Fat women:

The Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965:

High interest rates:

Poor character design in the videogame Borderlands 3:

The North Atlantic Treaty Organization:

The thwarting of this woman’s dream of living amongst goats:

Masturbation:

Gay marriage, trans bathrooms and boycotting the NRA?

Socialism, yet also libertarianism:

Vegetables as food:

Soy lattes, and somehow also PayPal?

I guess this guy thinks that “lattes” rhymes with “states?”

Pot-smoking hippies:

“Homo harassment” and other gay stuff:

Garfield (the cat, not the president):

I have no idea what is even going on here:

I hope this all clears things up for you.

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By David Futrelle

Reddit’s worst misogynists just can’t stop attacking Katie Bouman, the 29-year-old MIT researcher who has inadvertently become their newest Woman to Hate on the Internet.

Her crime? Literally nothing beyond having her picture taken at a happy moment in her life.

She was one of the researchers who worked on developing the algorithms used to capture the first ever image of a black hole, and a photo of her reacting with delight to her team’s success circulated alongside the actual image of the black hole earlier this week. The photo of her inspired a brief burst of coverage about her role in the project, with some in the media crediting her as the person who’d written the code that enabled her team to generate the black hole image.

And that’s when the misogynists lost their shit, on Reddit and elsewhere, blaming her for stealing credit from the men on her team.

On Reddit, a thread in the UnpopularOpinions subreddit declaring that Katie Bouman should not be getting credit for the picture if [sic] the black hole turned out to be not-so-unpopular after all, garnering more than twelve thousand upvotes and generating nearly four thousand comments.

Countless other threads popped up in vast array of other subreddits, ranging from r/space to r/dankmemes, many of them contrasting her supposedly paltry work on the project with that of the man who allegedly “contributed 850,000 out of 900,000 lines of code” used to generate the image of the black hole.

Never mind that she never tried to take credit for anyone else’s work and in a Facebook post noted that “no one algorithm or person made this image, it required the amazing talent of a team of scientists from around the globe and years of hard work.”

Never mind that Andrew Chael, the guy the misogynists credited with doing the lion’s share of the work, quickly went on Twitter to denounce their attacks on Bouman and note that the algorithm they ultimately used “would have never worked without her contributions.” (He added that no, he had not in fact written nearly a million lines of code.)

Yet the misogynists just can’t stop talking shit about her, a woman who literally did nothing to them or the world other than doing her job well.

On Reddit’s worst hives of misogyny the reaction has been extreme, even by Reddit’s-worst-hives-of-misogyny standards.

On the Braincels subreddit, Reddit’s main forum for incels, I found more than thirty separate topics devoted to denouncing Bouman, with titles ranging from “Katie Bouman is a FRAUD: WOMAN TAKES CREDIT FOR BLACK HOLEALGORITHM” to “Fuck this women [sic].” She was described, variously, as a “bitch,” “the black hole c*nt” and simply as “a hole.”

After Chael stood up to defend her, Reddit’s incels were quick to denounce him as a “cuck” and a “numale” buttering her up in a desperate attempt to get laid. (In fact, as he pointed out in the very Twitter thread defending her, he’s gay.)

Over on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, the men who like to loudly insist that they simply don’t care about women at all any more also devoted something like thirty topics to the “black hole chick,” (I may not have found them all) including “Hi my name is Katie Bouman and I’m a fraud,” and “A woman wanting sole credit for the work of over 200.” And yes, they also denounced Chael as a “beta simp” and “probably a cuck virgin hoping that if he’s nice enough Katie will touch his pee pee” after he defended her on Twitter.

Normally for a post like this I would go through at least some of these threads in detail and extract some of the most revealing comments. But today, I just don’t have the patience. It’s Friday. Fuck it. I’ve browsed through a bunch of the threads and, well, it’s more or less the same old bullshit you’d expect from these reactionary assholes, only a lot more of it this time. Let them yell into the void this time. I’m fucking done right now.

And people wonder why women are reluctant to go into STEM fields.

EDITED TO ADD: There are so many topics on l’affaire Bouman in the Braincels and MGTOW subreddits alone that, well, here’s one browser window’s worth of the tabs I opened up for this piece, minus a bunch I’ve already closed. I have a bunch more tabs related to this post opened up in several other windows as well.

FWIW. I have nine separate windows open in Chrome right now and most of them have nearly this many tabs open in them. Even with most of the tabs suspended by a browser extension, I’m using 86% of my memory and went over 90% several times doing this post. I have a little bit of a tab problem.

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By David Futrelle

Last Friday, a man walked up to a mother and her five-year-old boy who were standing outside the Rain Forest Cafe on the third floor of Minnesota’s Mall of America. Without saying a word, he grabbed the boy and threw him over the balcony.

Luckily, the boy survived the fall, and is being treated for multiple severe injuries at a local hospital. His assailant, a 24-year-old man named Emmanuel Deshawn Aranda, was captured as he tried to flee the mall, and has confessed to the crime, according to police. He’s been charged with attempted murder.

As unsettling as all this is, what makes it even more unsettling is the apparent motive for the attack. According to the Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman, Aranda was driven by rage over being rejected by women.

A statement put out by the Attorney’s office says that

Aranda told police he had come to the mall on Thursday intending to kill an adult, but that it did not “work out,” according to the complaint. He returned Friday and chose the boy instead. He told police he knew what he was planning to do was wrong. Aranda said he had been coming to the mall for years, tried to speak to women there and they rejected him. That made him lash out and act aggressively.

According to the complaint itself, Aranda had been previously banned from the mall “for throwing water in a woman’s face and destroying property. He has a warrant for his arrest from Illinois for assault. …”

It’s not clear if Aranda had any connection to the incel “movement,” such as it is, or if he was inspired by previous incel acts of violence like Elliot Rodger’s 2014 killing spree or the van attack in Toronto a year ago. But he was clearly motivated by the “aggrieved entitlement” that is rampant among men in America and throughout the world today.

On the Braincels subreddit, the site’s main forum for incels, the regulars seem most concerned that they will get “slammed” for the brutal attempted murder. While no one in the desultory discussion of the case there is glorifying Aranda the way that incels have glorified Elliot Rodger, one commenter is offering him a certain degree of sympathy.

“I think not getting pussy does something to the brain,” writes BBCislaw, “it’s a legitimate issue that will be ignored in favor of mocking the afflicted.”

On Incels.co, the largest incel forum off of Reddit, they don’t seem to have discovered the story yet, though the regulars are currently celebrating the pain suffered by a 22-year-old “Stacey” who apparently fell from a clock tower while attempting to take a selfie, and voting in a poll on what they see as the proper punishment for couples who kiss in public. (At the moment, “torture/death by soldering iron” is in the lead.)

The incel ideology is pure poison.

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