By David Futrelle

Incels don’t just talk endlessly about how much they hate women and want to shoot them. Sometimes they talk about more pleasant topics, like horses. And why women are “degenerate whores” who, like horses, “need to be tamed.”

Or so runs the argument of an incel calling himself Alpha_Fucks_Beta_Bux, who posted an oh-so-thoughtful message in the Braincels subreddit not too long ago with the title “Hating holes for being whores is as silly as hating a horse for running wild.”

Oh, by the way, “holes” is AFBB’s preferred term for women, presumably because cis women have one more penis-accommodating hole in their nether regions than cis men.

Anyway, AFBB brought with him a message of love, incel-style.

“I understand the hatred for holes,” he explained,

but ultimately I think it’s silly. It is simply in a hole’s nature to be a degenerate Chadmongering whore.

AFBB urged his fellow incels not to hate the he half of humanity that he had just reduced to one body part and then tried to shame as “whores.” Instead, he urged men to treat women with the utmost respect and …

Just kidding. He urged his fellow incels to pity women instead. And then take away their rights.

I know it sounds like a cope, but in all honesty I pity them. Their only contribution to humanity has been to spread their legs and they know it. This is proven by the fact that two incels alone (Tesla/Newton) have contributed more to humanity than holes have since the dawn of our species.

After draping all men in the glory of these two dudes, he compared women to a popular farm animal.

Just like horses, women are underdeveloped beasts who need to be tamed. This is proven by the fact that they have smaller brains than men. Also proven by all the greatest minds throughout history who confirmed the belief that women are nothing more than uncivilised savages giving in to every lust possible.

In case you’re keeping track, in just the first two paragraphs of his post, this dude has compared women to:

1. Holes
2. Whores
3. Horses
4. Beasts
5. Savages

And all to promote his message of love triumphing over hate!

So instead of hating women I hate the simps who for whatever fucking reason decided to give in to holes’ demands and give them equal rights.

Once again I find myself utterly baffled as to why incels can’t get a date.

The men who lived before us had these creatures tamed. Instead of continuing to live like we had, they decided to unleash these beasts on society.

It is not a coincidence that less than one century after holes got equal rights, society is already on the brink of collapse.

Well, maybe we are on the brink of civilizational collapse, but I’m pretty sure that women aren’t the ones primarily responsible for the climate catastrophe, the return of Nazism, or Donald Trump.

In the comments, a Redditor called lmaooolmfao took the horse metaphor and galloped away with it.

“[I]f some unknown farmer lets his horses run free,” he began,

and they are everywhere shitting in the street blocking traffic destroying your way of life how do you fix it? you say i hate these damn horses and find other men who think that way too until you have enough men to round them up and put them in a new pen.

AFBB replied:

Ultimately, another farmer(cuck) will release the horses from their pen. First we need to deal with the simps and cucks before we can deal with the holes.

Lmaooolmfao suggested that maybe the real solution is just to ban women from voting.

[A]fter putting them in the pen then we would make new laws because we have just learnt the lesson. what is even dealing with cucks mean? you deal with it by removing the vote of women.

AFBB responded again, this time by railing against … trans women and abortion?

Just like we had laws against degeneracy before they were given rights. All these laws were revoked. Those cucks are allowing men in dresses to enter showers with little girls, they’re enabling infanticide, they’re enabling holes to run wild which is destroying civilisation.

Wait, why are these “men in dresses” getting into the shower anyway? Shouldn’t they take off the dresses first?

AFBB then returned to his anti-simp rant.

Before we address the issue of simps in today’s society, nothing we do will solve the issue. All we’ll be doing is kicking the can down the road. Eventually the simps will feel bold enough to give them rights again if we remove them. I honestly don’t know how we can deal with the cucks, that’s something people who are a lot smarter than you and me need to figure out.

Wait, are the cucks and the simps the same people or are they different groups? I’m so confused. But then again I don’t care enough to try to find out the answer.

Our ancestors built civilisation which has lasted for over 5000 years. If we are replicate their success we need long term solutions.

All I can say is: TEAM CUCK/SIMP all the way.

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By David Futrelle

With the right slowly but surely winning its was on the right to abortion, in both legal and practical terms, you might expect Margaret Atwood — you know, the author of the Handmaid’s Tale, the dystopian novel about an oppressively patriarchal state that’s been turned into a really very depressing Hulu series — to be feeling more than a little angry about the state of women’s rights in the US today.

And you’d be right. Indeed, last week she retweeted a Guardian piece comparing Alabama to her novel’s Republic of Gilead.

But not everyone thought it was such an apt comparison, including one fellow who took to Twitter to tell her that she seemed to be missing the point of … the show based on her book, for which she is also a consulting producer.

Yeah, dude, I think I’m going to go with her interpretation on this one.

But he’s already heard that, well, roughly 250 times already; indeed, apparently happy at all the attention, he’s happily retweeting the various Twitterers who’ve stepped up to call him out as the idiot he is.

Which raises the question: is he “just trolling?” He might be trolling, but not “just.” A look through Mr. Modbrat’s tweets reveal him to be a seemingly sincere right-wing Australian and a big fan of failed-comedian turned alt-lite interviewer Dave Rubin.

So whatever his intent with the tweet, he’s definitely a huge idiot.

H/T — Comic Sands

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By David Futrelle

YouTube “philosopher” and erstwhile Men’s Rights Activist Stefan Molyneux has been an open white nationalist in all but name for some time now, ranting endlessly about race and IQ, spreading disinformation about alleged “white genocide” in South Africa, and wondering aloud why more countries can’t be like almost-exclusively white Poland, free of what he sees as the burden of diversity.

But he’s been curiously mum on what white supremacists call “the JQ” — the “Jewish Question,” speaking of Jews mostly in code — referring instead to “globalists” and insinuating rather than stating outright his belief (shared by most on the alt-right) that Jews aren’t really white. Despite his coded antisemitism, and all the defensive tweets he’s devoted to dispelling the notion that he is himself Jewish, Molyneaux has as recently as this past January even tried to pretend that he’s been some sort of bold fighter against antisemitism.

That all changed yesterday, when Molyneux launched a virulently antisemitic Twitter tirade against accused child rapist Jeffrey Epstein that stopped only half a step away from literal “blood libel.”

After complaining that he was “getting pretty sick and tired of white girls” — a group that for Molyneux doesn’t include Jews — “being groomed and abused,” he asked this not-so-innocent question:

To someone who suggested that Espstein’s alleged whites-only policy of child sexual abuse was motivated by “religious/ethnic malice” — that is, Jewish hatred of white Christians — Molyneux responded coyly:

The notion that Jewish men deliberately target white Christian girls for sexual abuse is only a step away from the classic antisemitic blood libel — that Jews kill “Christian children in order to use their blood [in] religious rituals.”

Molyneux went on to suggest that Epstein had been protected for years by, presumably, other rich Jews, even when this went against their own financial interests.

He even suggested that late-night comedians would stay away from the Epstein case at the behest of their Jewish media masters.

Actually, most late-night talk shows are in ruruns at the moment.

So why is Molyneux openly spouting antisemitism now after being so coy on the subject for so long? It’s not that his beliefs seem to have changed; the only difference is how explicit he is about it. In the past, one can only assume, he figured that open antisemitism would probably be bad for his brand, or that it might get him canned from Twitter. Now, in the wake of the Epstein arrest, he has evidently concluded that it’s open season on Jews — and that the benefits of open antisemitism, in attracting fans and donations, outweigh the risks.

It’s good — very good — that Epstein has been arrested and may finally face real justice. It’s distressing that his arrest has stirred up antisemitic hatred and convinced the always opportunistic Molyneux that spouting a newfangled version of blood libel would be a good career move.

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By David Futrelle

If anyone thinks the Mike Pence rule of never being alone with a woman lest something naughty happen isn’t discriminatory against women, consider the case of Mississippi Today reporter Larrison Campbell, who learned earlier this week that she wouldn’t be allowed to “ride along” with GOP gubernatorial wannabe Robert Foster on a 15-hour campaign trip because people might think that the two were “riding” each other, wink wink nudge nudge, knowwhatImean?

Because obviously every time a woman is alone in the presence of a man, sex breaks out.

“In two phone calls this week,” Campbell wrote in a story yesterday,

Colton Robinson, Foster’s campaign director, said a male colleague would need to accompany this reporter on an upcoming 15-hour campaign trip because they believed the optics of the candidate with a woman, even a working reporter, could be used in a smear campaign to insinuate an extramarital affair.

“The only reason you think that people will think I’m having a (improper) relationship with your candidate is because I am a woman,” this reporter said.

Robinson said the campaign simply “can’t risk it.”

I don’t even know what gender Colton Robinson is, but frankly they sound HOT. Are we sure Foster isn’t having sex with them right now?

Anyway, in a Tweet today, Foster said he was just following in the footsteps of Billy Graham, which really aren’t great footsteps for anyone to be following in but never mind. He also sort of suggested he might find it impossible to resist sex with Campbell and/or any other female person who wandered close to him unaccompanied by a man or men.

Clearly they aren’t thinking this through. If Campbell rode along with a male colleague in tow, wouldn’t people assume they were having an MMF threesome? I know I would.

Wait a minute, are there other men and women on this campaign bus or whatever it is that Foster is using to get around? DUDE IS TOTALLY HAVING ORGIES!!!1! ALLEGEDLY!1!

Still, in the odd moments when he is not having sex with ladies in his immediate presence (allegedly), Foster has found time to be mad online about the coverage of his not-sex-having policy with regard to Ms. Campbell.

I’ll give him credit for one thing: he can spell Mississippi correctly, despite all the sex thoughts about lady reporters and other nearby women he apparently has bouncing around in his head all day long.

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NOTE: See note at the end of the post for an important clarification.

By David Futrelle

Yesterday morning, a middle-aged man in a Long Island Bagel Boss shop launched into an abusive, if sometimes barely coherent, tirade after a young woman working there apparently teased him about his short stature. His meltdown was caught on video, and quickly went viral.

“Why is it ok for women to say ‘oh you’re five feet?’ on dating sites ‘you should be dead’ THAT’S OK?!” you can hear him yell furiously in the video, gesticulating wildly. When another patron asks him who
at the bagel shop said that to him, he responds that

women in general have said it on dating sites. You think I’m making that shit up? Everywhere I go it’s the same fucking smirk, with the biting lip.

After he gets in the face of several male bagel shop patrons and challenging them to fight, one of them throws him to the ground and holds him down. A second video, apparently taken shortly afterwards, captures the man, now back on his feet, continuing his tirade against the shop’s female staffers until he is finally led from the shop.

Viewers of the video quickly labeled the man an incel. And so did incels themselves, with the regulars on the Incels.co forums
dubbing him St. Bagelcel — and hailing him as a new incel icon.

He’s “the hero us manlets need and deserve,” gushed someone called ManletHalfCurry.

Others went further. He “was speaking truth that is never spoken about the suffering of manlets,” wrote someone called ScornedStoic. “He’s our prophet.”

“He is my god now.,” declared desperatecel178.

The Incels regulars were somewhat less positive about the man who jumped their new hero. ScornedStoic let loose with this fantasy of extreme violence:

I want the guy who tackled him to have his nails pulled out and forcibly castrated with zero anesthetic, then his teeth ripped out.

Fuck him, burn him alive.

Others wished that their new hero had pulled out a gun and shot his assailant. “Guy should have put a bullet in that tallfag,” wrote Shigechi.

Others held out hope that “the next time” their new hero would carry out a massacre in the style of Elliot Rodger, who famously became an incel martyr after murdering six in Isla Vista California in 2014 in what he deemed his “day of retribution” against the women of the world.

“I hope he take it a step furthER next time,” wrote Insomniac, the capitalized “ER” a reference to Rodger. “It’s not worth living that short,” added Evildoer. “i hope he goes ER and revenges all these who mocked him.”

CLARIFICATION: This post originally discussed the video of a YouTuber who claimed he was the man in the store. Since then the real “Bagel Boss guy” has come forward and it appears to be a different guy, one with a long history of similar public confrontations, many of which he himself filmed and put online on his own YouTube channel.

H/T — Thanks to everyone who sent me the Bagel Boss videos.

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By David Futrelle

Apparently the sorts of dudes I write about on this blog are just out there in the real world, some of them dating women who have no idea about the fetid misogynistic notions rattling around in their boyfriends’ heads.

Take, for example the perplexed woman (or the extremely convincing perplexed-woman-impersonator) who turned to the Relationship Advice subreddit for help the other day after discovering that her boyfriend of five years doesn’t think women should be allowed to vote.

Because somehow this has become an issue for some men in the last several years.

“I’m so confused, I don’t know what to think” began the women, calling herself randomaccount1775.

I’m not even sure if this is the proper sub but I just feel that I need some advice.

In the time I have known him, my boyfriend has always fell politically independent, or so I thought. Politics was never an issue between us at all.

But then things took a little bit of a turn.

However he just admitted to me that over the past year he’s grown more and more extreme in his views, to the point that he believes women have ruined the country (we are American) and that they should not be allowed to vote.

This is basically the political equivalent of learning that your beloved is one of those dudes who smears his own feces on the walls in public bathrooms just for fun.

He says he did not feel comfortable telling me about this sooner because he thought he would lose me.

And hopefully he will.

I’m upset and I can’t tell if I’m wrong to be upset about this because I know that everyone is entitled to have their own views, but now I just feel as though he doesn’t even value my own input/views.

How fucked is it that she’s the one questioning herself over his terrible opinions.

He has assured me that he still thinks that I should be allowed to vote but that women in general should not.

Repeal the 19th Amendment! Except for my girlfriend, who might get mad and dump me like the garbage I am!

This is a person I have been with for almost 5 years.

SUNK COST FALLACY.

We’ve talked about marriage. I don’t know what to think. In all other aspects he is the perfect, most amazing partner, and I can’t imagine my life without him in it.

Start imagining.

But this suddenly has me rethinking about a lot.

Keep rethinking as you throw out this entire man.

Amazingly, she still worried that she was the one who was acting weird here.

Am I wrong to be questioning our relationship over his new beliefs? As his girlfriend am I supposed to be tolerant and respectful of his views even though I may (strongly) disagree? I can’t tell if I’m overreacting to this or not. The whole situation has made me feel terrible and I’m so confused.

Happily, enough people on Reddit assured the woman that she wasn’t the one in the wrong here that she decided — as she explained in an update — that she would “confront my boyfriend later this evening.”

There’s been no update since then; hopefully the confrontation ended (or will end) with him being shown the door. Or the window.

H/T — Twitter’s relationships.txt

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By David Futrelle

Today, some handy investment advice from … the semen retention subreddit?

You might wonder how exactly this particular subreddit — a harder-core version of the anti-masturbation NoFap subreddit devoted to the allegedly magical powers of not spilling your seed on the ground — could possibly offer any useful financial advice.

Well, take a gander at this posting from the front page of the subreddit today, in which someone called Semencollector5000 explains why not jerking it makes you the Warren Buffett of SEMEN POWER.

Well, that’s rather a lot to absorb. But as a former personal finance writer, let me point out one teensy weensy difference between jerking off your dick and selling stocks:

When you sell your stocks, you don’t have them any more.

When you ejaculate, your body just makes more semen. There’s basically an unlimited supply.

If stock investing were like jerking off, I’d sell my stocks every day, probably multiple times, until the markets closed. And then I’d wake up the next morning with a brand new portfolio of stocks to sell.

There’s really only one real way that the stock market is like jerking off: Day traders are huge jagoffs.

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CONTENT WARNING: This one is just brutal. If you’re feeling even the slightest bit queasy about the headline, please don’t read any further.

By David Futrelle

Sunday morning, a young man named Brandon Clark allegedly murdered 17-year-old Instagram “e-girl” Bianca Devins, apparently a friend of his, brutally slashing her throat and then slashing his own in an attempt to kill himself. Sometime between the murder and the attempted suicide, he took a photo of her bloody body and uploaded it to 4chan.

The photo quickly spread across social media, including the Incels.co forum, where it was evidently found by a commenter calling himself canino1997, who reacted to the horrific tragedy by masturbating to the picture of Devins’ lifeless body and sending a picture of the resulting “cum tribute” to the girl’s mother (or perhaps her stepmother) as a sort of ‘”lesson” for her.

He attached a screenshot of what he said were the messages he’d sent to the mother along with his “tribute.”

Naturally, other incels applauded canino1997’s initiative. “[Y]our doing god’s work,” wrote one commenter. “Based as fuck,” added a second. “Based kikebook Stalkercel,” agreed a third, which is the Incel way of saying he thought that canino1997 is was an excellent Facebook stalker.

On Facebook, Bianca’s stepmother didn’t say anything about
canino1997’s particular act of malicious harassment, but she did post at length about the anguish of seeing the photos of her stepdaughter’s corpse — an anguish amplified by the knowledge that countless strangers were passing the pictures around in an attempt to shock others and, in some cases, to garner new Instagram followers.

It is absolutely disgusting that people are sharing, screenshoting the pictures of Bianca’s (tragic) death!! Wtf is wrong with you people!!?? … I will FORVER have those images in my mind when I think of her. When I close my eyes, those images haunt me. …

Imagine sitting there, in disbelief and praying to God that this is all some mistake and that your baby will walk through the door any minute. Now imagine seeing those pictures and having everything in you break. Imagine not even being able to yell out and scream or cry because your soul has now just been broken.

After writing this blog for eight years, and watching the political developments in the US over the last three, I can’t say I still have a lot of faith left in humanity. But discovering the incel and his “cum tribute” hit me like a punch in the gut; in some ways it feels as gratuitously cruel as the murder itself.

There’s a lot more to say — none of it good — about this case and the assorted reactions to it online. But I will save that for later posts.

NOTE: Canino1997’s original post was taken down by the Incels.co mods, though evidence of it remains in the responses to it from other commenters. I borrowed the screenshots from a post in IncelTears, a subreddit devoted to monitoring and mocking incels.

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By David Futrelle

Late Sunday night, far-right attack journalist Ian Miles Cheong began tweeting the grisly details of a murder that had taken place that morning. At that point, he was the only journalist who seemed to know much of anything about the death of Instagram “e-girl” Bianca Devins.

IMC — as he’s known online — suggested that he had insider knowledge of what had really happened. His first tweet on the subject was lurid and arresting, and quickly garnered tens of thousands of likes and retweets.

Unfortunately, almost everything in the tweet seems to be wrong. Devins was 17, not 18, and according to police she met her future killer on Instagram, not Discord. Though her throat was brutally slashed, her head was not “sawed off.” According to police, she went to the concert in question with her murderer, not with “another guy she met on Discord,” and she rode home with him afterwards as well. We still don’t know for sure what motivated his actions.

In followup tweets, IMC continued to report speculation and rumors as facts. He referred again to “her decapitation,” and “the fact that a guy stalked her and cut her head off,” though no picture I have seen after much searching shows such a thing and no reputable publication has reported this.

He set forth his theory that the killer was a “beta orbiter” who had stalked his victim; in fact, according to police, the two had had some sort of “personally intimate”  relationship in real life for several months (whatever that means; I’m not convinced that it was a romantic or sexual one). He had even met her family. (Click on the images below to see archived versions of the tweets in question.)

IMC later demoted the alleged killer to “some incel omega orbiter from her Discord.”

I have found no indication that the alleged killer was an “incel” or that he ever used that term to describe himself. None of the postings from him that I’ve seen used any characteristic incel lingo.

IMC later posted a “correction” for getting the age wrong. And in another tweet he acknowledged (without admitting his earlier errors) that the two had known each other in real life for several months — though he added another error to his growing pile by attributing this information to the Syracuse, NY police, when in fact it had come from the Utica, NY police. (Utica is where Devins had lived and is where the arrest took place.)

Defenders of DMC might argue that a lot of early reporting on developing stories is wrong, and they would be right; it is. They might also note that a lot of other people were spreading misinformation and disinformation, (and worse) and they would be right about this as well.

Does it even matter that IMC got so much wrong in his tweets?

Yes.

It’s true that reporters — and the official spokespeople who are often their sources in crime stories like this — get things wrong. This is why good reporters don’t make categorical pronouncements until the facts in question are nailed down beyond a shadow of a doubt. They use words like “alleged” and “apparently,” and they cite the sources for these claims. (That’s why stories about crimes are filled with many repetitions of the phrase “police said.”)

IMC sometimes hedged his claims by saying things like “from what I can tell,” but he made numerous categorical assertions of fact as well, and was exceedingly vague about his sources for these claims.

IMC is the managing editor for a far-right publication called Human Events. Were he writing for a left-wing publication, his erroneous tweets would almost certainly have led to demands he be fired and blackballed from the profession.

Indeed, when then-New-Yorker factchecker Talia Lavin — someone I should note I’m friendly with online — speculated on Twitter about a tattoo on an ICE agent’s arm with a strong resemblance to a German Iron Cross — she became the subject of an online smear campaign that has yet to let up, with her story providing fodder for a number of segments on Fox News. This despite the fact that after learning that the tattoo in question was not an Iron Cross she deleted the tweet and offered an apology.

IMC has not offered any corrections of, or apologies for, most of the misinformation he has posted on this case. I don’t expect he ever will. And I don’t expect it to have the slightest effect on his career. Because that’s the world we live in today.

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By David Futrelle

Yesterday, an older British gentleman who describes himself as a “Journalist Extraordinaire” received a light roasting on Twitter after he declared that women who “wear clothes showing a lot of flesh in the shoulder, leg and … bosom department” are somehow undermining the long struggle for gender equality through their choice of attire.

I was one of the roasters:

These sorts of complaints used to be confined to Puritanical religious fundamentalists who consider women in summer clothes to be “stumbling blocks” for lusty men. Indeed, the last person I remember yelling about the sin-inducing powers of women’s shoulders was a rather excitable priest named Kevin M. Cusick, who also enjoys ranting about the alleged evils of “sodomite homosexualists,” “so-called trans” folks, and of course Muslims.

But in the last few years this, er, argument has been taken up by assorted manospherians, from MGTOWs to incels, who rail against everything from yoga pants to the sneakily alluring powers of female arms. The manosphere-tailing intellectual charlatan Jordan Peterson has jumped in with his own complaints about the sexually hypnotizing powers of makeup and high heels.

Aas it turns out, as I’ve mentioned here before, this dumb idea has a long history among Men’s Rights Activists. In his 1993 manifesto The Myth of Male Power, Warren Farrell, the intellectual grandfather of the Men’s Rights movement, famously warned men to beware of the “cleavage power” and the “miniskirt power” that young women have over older men, even their bosses at work.

Like Mr. Duncan today, Farrell argued that women who dressed in ways he deems too sexy are effectively coming on to all men who see them — and if these clothes are worn in the workplace, they indicate that the wearer is less interested in work than in getting herself hitched to some nearby eligible man. In his mind, “indirect initiatives” like wearing short skirts are

designed to lead to marriage … So the miniskirt, perfume, and flirting unconsciously tell the man that this woman wants an end to her involvement in the workplace—or, at least, an end to her involvement by obligation. If you were a boss who had to choose between promoting someone who had the option to work versus someone with the obligation to work (e.g., to support a spouse and three children), whom would you take more seriously?

Yes, that’s right: In Farrell’s mind, if a woman wears a short skirt and/or lipstick to work, she’s signaling that she doesn’t want a promotion — she wants a proposal.

In almost all cultures throughout human history, women’s indirect initiatives were their way of signaling their desire for men to take direct initiatives. A flirtation was an invitation. In some cultures, lipstick was a woman’s way of signaling her willingness to perform fellatio.

Er, what? Farrell provides no citation for this claim, which I suspect may have emerged fully formed from his pants.

In the South Sea islands, a fresh flower in a woman’s hair signaled availability. The purpose of the flower, lipstick, or the miniskirt is to put the signal out strongly enough to stimulate every man’s interest. It is only when she has every man’s interest that she has real choice—the choice of the “best” men.

Ok, you may say to yourself, but he wrote this way back in 1993, which is practically the 1970s; didn’t everyone think like this back then? As someone who was an adult in 1993, my answer is NO, and also I’m taking these quotes from the 2014 reissue of the book.

Which, by the way, features a naked woman’s butt on the cover.

As Farrell explains in a new introduction to the book (written in 2014), this rather unexpected choice of cover art for a book about “male power” is his way of “tastefully” reminding people of “heterosexual boys’ and men’s feelings of powerlessness when our eyes behold a genetic celebrity.”

“Genetic celebrity” is Farrell’s term of art for attractive young women with, I guess, junk in the trunk

In conclusion, most heterosexual men enjoy looking at women’s asses, and cleavage, and, I guess, shoulders. Some of these men also think that these female body parts oppress them by being looked at. These men are very weird, and their arguments make no damn sense at all.

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By David Futrelle

I‘m sorry, everyone, but we’re going to have to talk about “the dogpill” again.

The dogpill, if you’re one of the lucky ones who haven’t already heard of it, is the delusional belief, shared seemingly by most incels and many other manosphere dinguses, that some huge percentage of women are regularly, ehrm, having sex with their dogs. On Incels.co and other sites like it, the regulars talk constantly about the dogpill (and the horsepill and even the fishpill, among others).

A longtime reader of the blog recently sent me a weird bit of copypasta that they found floating around on the internet. In it, someone claiming to be a lab tech at a women’s health clinic declared that he regularly found dog semen in pap smears — and that this was more-or-less an open secret in the world of gynecology.

Here. for better or worse, is his tall tale:

I work as a Lab Tech in a women’s clinic in the Mid West. I am the guy that looks through the microscope at your Pap Smear. 1 in 200-300 Pap Smears have canine semen on them. This is how I was introduced to this wonderful subject.

Women are told not to have sex for two days before their well woman exam. They believe that any sperm is no longer inside of them. The fact is, they are wrong. Even human sperm can last 4 days. Even if you have had sex with different men we can tell. Different men’s sperm look and act different. Canine sperm stands out as it has a second bulge in the tail used for energy to get through a bitch’s long harsh uterine tract.

If you read my post about canine semen working like a form of birth control for women, you know that dog sperm can and will live up to 9 days inside of his bitch. If you have had a Pap Smear during that time, then they saw the canine semen and documented it in your chart. (K9+)

The provider will never bring it up unless you do. The way they see it, it is a victimless crime, and they do not want you to not come back.

So be honest, how do you feel knowing someone knows?

Now, my first reaction to this was that it’s utter bullshit. But I’m no gynecologist. So I asked a gynecologist — the famous vagina expert Dr. Jen Gunter — what she thought. She had the same reaction I did, only more so.

“That is 100% bullshit,” she told me via Twitter DM. “That is not true. The end.”

She also characterized the story as “some kind of made up bullshit that requires no response,” “100% fantasy,” and something that “sounds like [an] Incel fetish.” It’s rare to find human semen in pap smears, she notes. Dog semen, no way.

As for the the notion that dog semen can serve as a sort of birth control, she dismisses the notion as “biologically preposterous.”

It’s not clear to me where exactly this copypasta came from; the only place I’ve found the full text is a handmade former-Tumblr fetish site. (Tumblr banned adult content last December; some of this content has migrated to Tumblr-like sites that are defiantly NSFW.)

From there, or from wherever it came from, it spread (sometimes as text, sometimes as a screenshot) to the alt-right-infested Twitter alternative Gab, the MGTOW subreddit, Quora, an exceedingly racist amateur fetish site devoted to “BBC [Big Black Cock] and Beast Fantasy,” and who knows where else. (It’s hard to track the spread of a screenshot that’s 100% text.)

On Gab, the posting got dozens of responses; most took it as true, expressing assorted forms of disgust and making jokes about “pup smears.”

“Lord have mercy.,” commented someone called Michigan Wave.

This is one of those factoids you’ll never un-know. Even if it’s just 1 in 400-500, it means we are literally converging w/ 3rd World norms where human-animal coitus is rare but accepted.

“Muslims believe women who have sex with animals should be killed,” wrote whoohoo001. “These women are contaminated.”

“And women have the audacity to call men perverts.” scoffed mothersmurfer.

On the MGTOW subreddit, most commenters were similarly unskeptical.

“Its guilty until proven innocent if i see a woman who owns a sizable dog,” wrote CoffeeBreaksAllDay.

“This is why some of us call women bitches,” joked I-am-the-lul.

And this is why some of us call you guys misogynistic dinguses.

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By David Futrelle

So yesterday, I was poking around in the Braincels subreddit, Reddit’s main hangout for incels, and was struck by how often the regulars there discuss trans women.

Some incels like to fantasize about solving their particular difficulty — their “involuntary” celibacy — by hooking up with “traps” (their favorite transphobic term for young trans hotties). But most of the time they’re as straightfowardly hateful towards trans women as any TERF (Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist).

Indeed, I was struck by how remarkably similar incels and TERFs sound when they talk about trans women (both generally ignore trans men). So much so that I decided to make this quiz.

I don’t know about you, but I found these very hard to distinguish from one another, to the point that I had to check and doublecheck each quote to make sure which subreddit it came from, even though I was the one choosing the quotes.

So what does this mean? Partly, the quotes sound similar because, well, this is what transphobic hate sounds like. But in other cases it seems as though the incels have picked up certain TERF talking points from reading, or reading about, TERFs.

If you consider yourself a feminist, but your thoughts on trans women are virtually identical to the raging misogynists and ignorant anti-feminists who make up the incel movement, well, maybe you’re not as much of a feminist as you think.

Sources for quotes: Question 1: GenderCritical, Braincels. Question 2: GC, Braincels. Question 3: Braincels, GC. Question 4: Braincels, GC.

H/T — Reddit’s Advanced Search

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By David Futrelle

You can always count on the dude who calls himself One Angry Gamer to have a highly nuanced reaction to developments in the gaming and comics worlds. For example, take his reaction to the news yesterday that the upcoming Thor: Love and Thunder movie will feature Natalie Portman — a LADY — as none other than Thor himherself.

“This is the kind of news that strips the threads away from the very fabric of your soul,” he declared in a post on his One Angry Gamer site, really leaning hard on that fabric metaphor. “As always, Marvel is moving the dial ever further Left.”

Well, not that much further left, in that Portman played Man Thor’s gal pal in several past films, and that there already has been a series of comics in which Thor was a lady. But as One Angry Gamer sees it, those comics sucked and the movie will too:

For those of you unfamiliar with the Female Thor, it was as bad as everyone said it was, laced with the sort of propaganda that the Marvel comics have become infamous for … and included blatant agitprop such as Jane sharing an interracial kiss with Falcon after beating up some “racist” agitators.

But it didn’t end there… Jane ended up sleeping with the Falcon later on.

Oh my goodness, the comic book characters are miscegenating!

It’s the sort of thing that makes you sick to your stomach; churning your insides with a nausea-inducing swirl, as if you were butter in a theki.

If interracial sex makes you feel like butter in a sort of centrifuge used ito churn butter in Nepal, you might just be a teensy weensy bit of a racist.

“But it gets worse,” the Angry Gamer continued.

There were misandrist threads throughout the female Thor run, including one where a female villain refused to let another male villain fight female Thor out of “respect” for what she was doing. This is not even a joke.

Er. what? I’m having a hard time even parsing what exactly he’s mad at here.

But wait… it gets even worse!

According to ScreenRant’s tweets, actress Tessa Thompson said that as the new king of Asgard, the Valkyrie has to find a queen, since she’s obviously a lesbian!

I had to stand up and then sit down for a moment.

It’s a lot to take in. It’s like a hammer to the gut.

By Grabthar’s hammer, what a dingus.

If the news that a character in a comic book movie might be lesbian hits you “like a hammer to the gut,” you may be taking comic book movies just a teensy bit too seriously. And also you pretty definitely are a huge homophobe.

But it turns out Mr. Angry Gamer is just getting warmed up.

Starring [sic] at the floor, I began to realize that whatever good the Marvel Cinematic Universe brought to the world would be undone by the heathens of Hollywood.

Whatever memories or joy that you thought you could embrace from the previous three phases of storytelling, are gone.

Your joy is being systematically erased by the diversity agenda, and Phase 4 will taint these legacy characters… forever.

Ah bloo bloo bloo.

I wish there were words that could express the sadness that envelops my heart, to see Marvel wielding an axe of destruction for which all that you loved will be torn asunder and ripped apart like a pig’s intestines in a slaughter house; all for the sake of brainwashing the masses with their agenda.

Angry Gamer dude really loves working those metaphors, huh?

But there are no words… just bleakness and the realization that cultural entertainment is on the cusp of crumbling due to these degenerates.

Ah, I was waiting for him to work the word “degenerate” in there somehow, as if anyone had any doubts about his basically fascist sensibilities.

Anyhoo, after the Nazi dogwhistling, our Angry Gamer boi predicts the end of the world:

The end is nigh, and it will be ushered in with trends, claps, and applause.

The San Diego Comic-Con was the messenger of Armageddon, and you get to stand at ground zero to witness the complete and utter annihilation of comic-book movie culture.

Take some deep breaths, dude, you’re losing it. I don’t think even fans of Bewitched in the 1960s were this upset when they replaced Darrin with a whole other Darrin without saying a word.

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By David Futrelle

I guess I owe an apology to Reddit’s contingent of Men Going Their Own Way. In the past I have suggested that MGTOWs spend all day every day talking shit about the women they’ve supposedly declared their complete independence from.

Turns out this isn’t completely accurate. Sometimes they (and/or the white supremacists who are trying to recruit in MGTOW spacees) also talk shit about Teh Jews, blaming them for (among other things) putting too many ladies into superhero movies. Oh, sorry, not Teh Jews — the (not so) mysterious “(((They))).”

In a post on the MGTOW subreddit yesterday, a Redditor called WW2Pics suggested that the casting of a “5 ft 3 Jewish Woman” — Natalie Portman — as Thor in the upcoming movie Thor: Love and Thunder was a sign that “they” are “going for the Jugular” in the culture wars.

He found a lot of support for this theory.

“Can the agenda get anymore obvious?” agreed someone called unkn0wnbyte.

A black woman is the new James Bond, Thor is going to be played by a Jewish woman, and the first LGBTQ superhero will make its debut

Someone calling himself heightdiscrimination explained further:

The agenda is social engineering and I think that they believe that if they push it long enough and hard enough, that eventually they will win out and awakened people will just back down out of fatigue, demoralization and fear of being labelled.

And the evil (((they))) don’t even care if they lose money in the process by alienating whiny white fanboys.

“[T]he agenda must be pushed at all costs is my guess,” WW2Pics declared.

It’s like porn, they’re losing massive amounts of money by making high quality HD content free on sites like Pornhub so why do they do it??

Another commenter, who is definitely not a sockpuppet of one of the previous commenters, asserted that

It’s all about the agenda and social engineering. They can print up all the money in the world so P&L isn’t really a concern for them.

TIL that the Federal Reserve regularly prints up bales of money that they deliver directly to porn and movie producers.

If anyone had missed the point of all this dogwhistling, yet another commenter suggested that Hollywood was white male genociding him.

Fuck Marvel for fucking up my heritage. Even before they made him into a woman, they made the fucking god of thunder, look like some whiney little bitch. Fucking shitty franchise.

Not content with attacking (((them))) for fucking with Norse mythology,, GemStarCN21 managed to work a famous Greek mythological figure (and her vagina) into the mix.

The song of the ages i.e. the cycle of civilizations has to run it’s course in my view. We’ve allowed Pandora to spread her legs and open her box to everyone, there’s no coming(phrasing) back from that.

So Pandora’s “box” is her vagina? That seems a rather, er, reductive reading of the myth. Also, in the original mythology, her box not only wasn’t her vagina; but it also wasn’t even a box. (It was a jar.) Can’t believe anyone would tamper with myth like this GenSTar dude.

Women wield too much power today; they are holding on to it, want it all and also want everything else; as we see with Thor.

It will only get worse until something big, unexpected and earth shattering happens, then we’ll have a reset.

Well, to be fair, we do seem to be well on our way to a civilization-challenging if not civilization-destroying climate catastrophe. But I’m pretty sure that doesn’t have much to do with women having too much power — or with Natalie Portman being cast as a comic-book version of Thor.

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By David Futrelle

So I wrote up a nice long post tonight, filled with inadvertently hilarious if also somewhat disturbing tweets from a variety of far-right trolls, but for some reason Twitter doesn’t seem to be embedding tweets properly right now, at least on WordPress.

In the meantime, please make do with these thoughts on “front holes” — a.k.a. women — from a Men Going His Own way on Reddit.

Huh. I thought the standard timetable for young women today — at least according to the He Man Woman-Hater’s club of the manosphere — was cock-carousel-riding until age 30 or so, followed by the desperate search for a beta to glom onto in the early 30s. Now they have to get a ring on some poor beta by the time they graduate from college? At age 25?

Misogyny can be so confusing!

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By David Futrelle

If you’ve spent any time arguing with right-wing trolls online, you’ve probably encountered the alt-right’s new favorite buzzword (that isn’t really a word): “globohomo.” And you may have found yourself wondering: What on earth is a globohomo, anyway, and why are right-wingers so mad about it?

The term has been floating about for several years now; I first encountered it way back in 2016 on the blog of everyone’s favorite racist pickup artist, Heartiste, and our old friend fiend Roosh V is fond of it as well. But it’s gained popularity in the last year or so, serving as a sort of catch-all replacement for the term “white genocide” for some of the people who, well, used to use the term “white genocide” all the time.

Ostensibly, “globohomo” is short for “global homogenization,” a an alleged vast conspiracy to destroy “traditional” culture and values and replace them with a sort of global (naturally) corporate uniculture.

But it’s rarely used in this way, at least not exactly. For those who’ve seized upon the term, “globo” means “globalist” and therefore Jews; while “homo” (the suffix) means, well, “homo” (the slur). (Some, evidently worried that “globohomo” isn’t gay-sounding enough, add “gayplex” to it — “globohomo gayplex.”)

And so “globohomo” has come to mean something like “the global homosexual/Jewish conspiracy to degenerate our culture up real good with drag queens and anal sex and possibly Ben Shapiro.”

If that definition seems a bit incoherently exapansive, that’s because the trolls who’ve embraced the term are using it as an all-purpose epithet. Perhaps the only way to truly define “globohomo” is to see how people (and I use that term lightly) are using it on, for example, Twitter.

Here are just a few of the things that right-wing trolls think are a part of the “globohomo” agenda.

Jews:

Actual LGBTQ people:

LGBTQ people “indoctrinating” children by existing:

Butt sex, literal and figurative:

Crossdressing:

Crossdressing in libraries, specifically

Trans women:

Music videos:

The Cats movie trailer:

Netflix:

Walmart:

Mountain Dew:

The North Atlantic Treaty Organization and/or “poopdick.”

Rainbow flags:

Soy (but of course):

Forced bug-eating?

White genocide:

Christian genocide:

Donald Trump?

Ivanka Trump:

Ben Shapiro!?

And then there’s this. Apparently the evil Jews who run Globohomo really don’t like … Game Theory?

Any questions?

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By David Futrelle

If you ever wonder why online gaming culture is such a complete shitshow, it’s not because it’s dominated by angry teenagers who think it’s fun to call other players “f*ggots” and possibly even send SWAT teams to their houses. These people could easily be banned, No, the real problem is that so many adult gamers either don’t give a shit about the rampant harassment or think it’s actually pretty cool.

Consider, for example, the reaction of Reddit’s KotakuInAction to a report from the Anti-Defamation League suggesting that the overwhelming majority of online game players faced harassment, much of it severe and prolonged abuse that went beyond name calling to violent threats, stalking and even doxing.

You might have expected that even in the KotakuInAction subreddit — which still identifies itself as “the main hub for GamerGate on Reddit” — there would be some small number of commenters who would find this at least a teensy bit disturbing. But when I looked in on a thread devoted to the topic today, there were 56 comments up and not a single one of them suggested that all this harassment might be, you know, a bad thing. In other words, according to my completely unscientific survey, 100 percent of them don’t give a shit.

Instead, some commenters minimized and misrepresented the study’s results; others mocked the victims of harassment; still others more or less reveled in the toxic culture portrayed. A few posted neutral comments and jokes. But no one stood up to take issue with the culture of harassment.

The ADL’s findings are genuinely distressing:

Seventy-four percent of adults who play online multiplayer games in the US experience some form of harassment while playing games online. Sixty-five percent of players  experience some form of severe harassment, including physical threats, stalking, and sustained harassment. Alarmingly, nearly a third of online multiplayer gamers (29%) have been doxed.

Much of this harassment seems to have been motivated by some form of bigotry — from misogyny to racism.

Fifty-three percent of online multiplayer gamers who experience harassment believe they were targeted because of their race/ethnicity, religion, ability, gender or sexual orientation. Thirty-eight percent of women and 35 percent of LGBTQ+ players reported harassment on the basis of their gender and sexual orientation, respectively. Approximately a quarter to a third of players who are black or African American (31%), Hispanic/Latinx (24%) and Asian-American (23%) experienced harassment because of their race or ethnicity in an online multiplayer game. Online multiplayer gamers were also targeted because of their religion: 19 percent of Jews and Muslims also reported being harassed.³

So how did KiA commenters respond?

By dismissing those complaining of harassment as wimps:

They are privileged coddled children in adult bodies who need to spend extended time in the wild without help or support.

By telling victims to suck it up:

Be adult. Get called f*ggot by online stranger.

Mute.

Thats being an adult.

By suggesting that getting harassed was actually a badge of honor:

You’re not online gaming right if you’re not getting called a f*ggot.

By suggesting that the whole point of online gaming is to make others miserable:

If the person I’m playing against online is having fun, I’m not having fun.

By encouraging those who get harassed to harass back:

Get called f*ggot by online stranger.

Call him the same.

By dismissing harassment as little more than meaningless “name calling.”

I don’t even think they know what harassment is. Calling someone a name and not making a continuous campaign of it is not harassment. It’s just being rude. Now what some of bluechecks do to Trump is harassment.

By literally declaring that “boys will be boys.”

its not harassment, its called smack talk and its just what guys do to each other to stop our egos getting out of control.

Or “kids will be kids.”

74% of adults get harassed by 12 year olds who like to smack-talk because that shit’s funny when you’re 12.

This is kids being kids. If anything it’s a parenting problem, not a society problem.

The game industry could take steps to significantly reduce the amount of harassment in online gaming. But they won’t, not so long as there is such a loud and vociferous pro-harassment lobby out there, on Reddit and elsewhere.

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By David Futrelle

Yesterday, a brand new Redditor calling herself (himself?) concernedwife123 posted her (his?) tale of woe in an assortment of subreddits — looking, allegedly, for some advice. The alleged woman explained how she had allegedly lost her alleged husband to an alleged sex doll with “huge tits and a round ass with very human like skin.” But she (allegedly) felt she couldn’t really complain, because she had been mostly turning him down for sex for months. She (allegedly) felt awful.

It was a story that seemed designed to appeal to the typical male Redditor’s not-so-hidden desire to see women get their comeuppance after doing men wrong. And, with a certain sort of Redditor, the story was a huge hit — with concernedwife123’s postings getting hundreds of upvotes in r/Relationship_Advice and r/AmITheAsshole.

The posting also seemed, well, fake as hell. I mean, just take a look at this nonsense.

And then the whole bus clapped.

Seriously, if even a word of this story turns out to be true — including “and” and “the” — I will eat my cats.

I’m not the only one to conclude that the story is fake. The posting was removed from r/Relationship_Advice, r/AmITheAsshole, and the woman-centric r/2XChromosomes, presumably because the mods of these subs thought it looked fishy.

But before it vanished, the story garnered well over a thousand responses from Redditors who, for the most part, took it very seriously. Some offered earnest advice; others gloated.

“Sorry hun, you played yourself on this one,” reads the highest-ranked reply in r/Relationship_Advice, with more than 600 upvotes.

“May i call OP the bad word? I think she deserves it for being so selfish,” added another Redditor.

And those were the polite ones. Further down in the discussion, things got a bit rawer. “how’s it feel?” mocked someone calling themself LandWhaleHarpoon. “he’s been putting up with your BS for a year now and you can’t even handle it 1 time.”

“What a cunt!” added, er, Analjuice420.

Not everyone was quite so concise.

“Who cares how you feel,” wrote MoonLantern2.

Did you even care one iota how rejection from you his wife made him feel? Do you know what a sexless marriage does to a man? You just took away his favorite thing in the world, the one thing that brings pleasure and satisfaction to his life. You are a horrible and selfish wife. Just accept that you screwed up your marriage. Grow a heart and some genuine affection and try for a moment to show love to your husband.

Some of the commenters seemed to have wandered in to r/Relationship_advice from the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit.

“Congratulations to your husband… He put you in your place,” wrote someone called TheAnarxoCapitalist.

You should learn not to be a biatch and give him his needs.

So what if you’re not in the mood? Is it too much to keep him satisfied? If you had told him this before marriage, he wouldn’t have married you. But now you’re acting like this because you have the power, which is exactly why mgtow is against marriage. Give him a blowy if you’re not in the mood for vaginal sex. But you chose to ignore him. This is the perfect lesson for you. You’re disposable. Enjoy that!

In the MGTOW subreddit itself, where one of the regulars posted a screenshot of the OP, things started off pretty spicy. To the OP’s concluding sentence, in which she — he? — complained
of feeling “awful,” one MGTOW redditor replied “[y]ou should cunt. You really should.”

“Lol, glorious,” wrote QuadraticLove.

Classic female double think; they always want their cake and they want to eat it, too. Now that he isn’t a slave to her pussy, she’s in panic mode.

Other MGTOWs used the post as yet another chance to rail against the alleged evil of all women.

This demonstrates the insane, backwards logic of women.

When you want them, they don’t want you. When you move on, they suddenly want you. It’s not the guy. it’s the power and attention. If a guy doesn’t bend over backwards for her approval, the woman sees it as a challenge. “Why isn’t he begging me like everyone else?!”

My ex was like this. Treated me like shit during our relationship, emotionally cheated, dumped me, acted like a complete slut afterwards. When I wanted nothing to do with her, she spammed me with messages, begging me to take her back.

Women feed on drama and attention.

Remarkably, some in r/MGTOW were skeptical of the OP — but mostly because they thought the posting was written too logically to have come from a woman.

Redditors gonna Reddit, I guess.

I’m looking forward to the OP’s big reveal that this was all a hoax.

H/T– Mary McCarthy, for the bit about “and” and “the.”

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Hey, vagina-havers! If you don’t want your babies to turn gay, don’t have butt sex when you’re pregnant!

That, at least, is the advice being given by the Bishop of Morphou Neophytos. In a speech last month, the Cyprus Mail reports, the bishop said that homosexuality “is a problem, which is usually transmitted by parents to the child,” and that the method of transmission, or at least one method, can be found in the fundament.

The problem, as the bishop sees it, doesn’t seem to be the anal sex itself, but the pregnant woman’s enjoyment of it. As the Mail explained his logic, the gay transmission

occurs when the couple has sex while the woman is pregnant, and the sex is “unnatural,” as he characterised anal sex.

The bishop said that when the woman enjoys anal sex, “a desire is created, which is then transmitted to the unborn child.”

It’s not clear how this applies to lesbians, bisexuals, gay men who don’t happen to enjoy anal sex, straight dudes who like getting pegged, or to the real world in general.

Brand New Ugly highlights stories that are emblematic of the political and social ugliness of Trump’s America — or, in this case, Cyprus. Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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By David Futrelle

Incels talk a lot of shit about trans women, and trans folks in general, so I was a little perplexed when I recently ran across one incel Redditor seriously proposing that “trans people and incels should be allies.”

I was less perplexed when I saw the, er, reasoning behind his proposal, which was the same old incel song in a new key. Essentially, he thinks that trans folks are the only group of people as ugly as incels, so why not team up?

“Trans people are in one particular way the ugliest trucels there are,” writes future_serial_cryer.

They have the literal opposite dimorphic attributes needed for attractiveness. They have an insanely high suicide rate, and have always been intensely mocked in the public sphere. If I had the choice, I’d rather be my short ugly self rather than trans.

Well, I suppose you have to give him some tiny bit of credit for briefly transcending his incel narcissism and at least acknowledging that incels aren’t the only group of people who ever suffer.

The one thing they have going for them is their sexuality also tends to be nuked so they gather in LGBT groups and have sex with each other. It’s the ideal situation really, proper looks-matching.

Ok, you can almost hear his incel comrades ask, but what about the hot transes? You know, like Contrapoints, and the sexy trans women in the porn we jerk off to while crying?

That doesn’t mean there aren’t attractive trans people. Bone structure is bone structure after all, so you get ones like Contrapoints who can have a good life elevated above those who look like men in wigs.

But the main reason that incels and trans women should unite, he suggests, is that they share the same futile obsession: getting validation from cis Stacies:

the majority of online trans people are mtf, and all of them are desperate to be validated as women. cis women hold the key to that castle so in turn the mtfs become slaves, indebted to slave away online defending women and femininity in an attempt to mentally get a good boy ticket to the girls club.

So in closing I’d say I do criticise incels who mock how trans women look, because it’s one group we can actually punch down on in looks. But on the other hand to mtfs I’d say this: Deep down you and I both know that our life struggles have more in common than anything youself and cis women face.

Unsurprisingly, Mr. Cryer’s colleagues in the Braincels subreddit don’t find even his deeply transphobic argument persuasive.

“Trannies are failed incels,” writes someone called isolationtoolong.

They can’t have a girl, they punish themselves by becoming a girl themselves. No, we can never be allied.

Another commenter is mad that trans Stacies don’t pay any more attention to him than regular cis Stacies.

“The good looking trannies are for Chad only too bro,” complains OSRobo.

I’ve been rejected by trannies on dating websites. They probably wouldn’t even pass in real life. I’ll form an alliance with them when they actually start fucking me

So I guess that’s never going to happen, huh?

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