This Horsecel would beg to differ
By David Futrelle
Considering how little they actually ever talk to the, er, “femoids” that they constantly obsess over, it’s kind of remarkable how confident so-called “involuntary celibates” are that they understand the secret desires of women better than women themselves do.
Case in point: A thread on the Incels.me forum today devoted to discussing the proposition that “Women like animals proportionate to how big the animals dick is. Women do not care about small dick animals.”
The OP explained his hypothesis thusly:
In a series of followup comments, MilkTeaPill elaborated on one longtime obsession of internet lady haters — the notion that a significant portion of the human female population is having sex with dogs.
YEP every female that chose to get a dog and lives on her own is fucking that dog. And about 60% of girls that have a family dog have done something sexual with the dog.
He did not cite a source for this statistic. In fact, the percentage of women who have sex with animals is probably closer to 2 percent, according to the only survey I was able to find that seemed even vaguely reliable; the same survey suggested that men were more than twice as likely as women to have sex with animals. I would imagine that the percentage of zoophiles who actually let horses penetrate them is a tiny fraction of this, given that it can quite easily kill you.
But MilkTeaPill went on to insist that for many, er, “foids” — the favorite incel term for women — dogs were no longer enough. Be warned that the quotes that follow may spoil your dinner if this hasn’t happened already.
dog dicks aren’t big enough for foids these days. They need that BHD (Big Horse Dick). 1-2 feet of horse dick pounding their insides. …
They can’t get enough of that multi foot dick stretching out their human pussy. They love it when horses cum liters of horse seed into them. This is literally every foids dream. …
Horse dick is the new standard that is the point I was making. … Soon enough there will be horse get aways were hundreds of foids go to a ranch for a weekend to get HORSED.
Many of MilkTeaPill’s fellow incels thought there was a good deal of merit to this argument.
Self-described AfrikanCel declared that Milk’s post was “High IQ,” and that “[f]oids disproportionately love big penis animals for this reason.”
“I remember one horse girl in class got questioned about stallions and she blushed hard,” wrote someone called HarvesterOfInceldom. “You knew she was fucking it.”
A few of the regulars were skeptical, noting that women often choose cats and rabbits — animals not exactly known for their gargantuan members — as pets. One even pointed to a survey suggesting that women prefer average-sized penises over (figuratively or literally) horse-sized dicks.
But Milk’s defenders had rebuttals. According to AfrikanCel, women love cats because they serve as substitute babies. But someone called Curious0 had what he saw as a better explanation:
They like male horses so they get fucked and female cats to get licked since most (all) women are bisexual.
There is so much wrongness packed into that sentence I think I will just give up and stop right here.
H/T — I found the strangely relevant horse cartoon on the @PanelPulp twitter account